Squids In - E-Mail Correspondence with Spooky St Ives

Andrew Macdonald [Continued from Many Are Called But Few Are Frozen!]

02 February 2003 15:21

Jawohl? Wasn't he that funny bloke in Public Image?

He's got a point, that "Winwaloe" - haven't had a good giant squid story in ages. Mind you, after eating the last two, there'd be "St Ives Inundated by Tidal Wave of Giant Squid Vomit". That'd be a real scoop for you, not to mention giving British Gas something to think about. Where's the Balancing Eel and why didn't I go there? I think he's right about the gulls, too. Bastards.

Vile Jelly

03 February 2003 11:55

The Slippery Eel is a chippy which lurks on the junction of Fore Street and T' Wharf up that ramp where you go up to get into the Sloop car parp.

You probably didn't go there because the proximity to the Sloop meant that you only had eyes (and stomachs) for Doom Bar.

Andrew Macdonald

05 February 2003 14:39

Do I look like some of ruminant? How many stomachs do you think I've got?

(On reflection, you can treat that as a rhetorical question.)

Erratum. In a previous email, I referred to British Gas. I should, of course, have referred to Transco or Lattice or Lettuce or Suppository or whatever they're called this week. Profuse and 'umble apologies if the slightest trace of offence may have been caused to anyone at Porridge.

Vile Jelly

05 February 2003 17:06

Nowt wrong with ruminating. When was the last time you heard of a depressed cow ringing the samaritans?

Andrew Macdonald

06 February 2003 16:46

Well, Ermintrude when they axed the Magic Roundabout..

Vile Jelly

06 February 2003 18:06

I suspect that Ermintrude was too blissed out to care.

Mind you, when BSE hit the fan, I suspect that she found being a purple and pink, talking cow a slight disadvantage when trying to convince the Department of Eternally F***ing-up Rural Affairs not to send her to the 'showers'.

Andrew Macdonald

07 February 2003 09:27

True. Did you know her name was originally Azalea?

Vile Jelly

07 February 2003 15:11

I thought they were all french (or Belgian). Or is the name the same in that language?

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