Lucy T. Lobster
11 December 2003 18:30
Dear Mr. Jelly,
I hope you won't think I'm being too forward. I sort of feel that I have got to know you well enough to be less formal, so can I call you Vile?
I overherd Them talking the other day. BM said to helling that he had had a box posted to you. I don't know wot is in it, but he did say someting about hopping that you would like it. And ......there was someting else......oh, yes, I rember, someting about some chimbleys. Can't say I've a cloo wot he was on about. Maybe you will be able to work it out.
Love and kisses to Shaun (if you don't mind) Thank you
12 December 2003 08:57
Dear Ms. Lobster (don't want to get too informal while Shaun is around for fear of receiving a severe hoofing!),
Please feel free to call me Vile. Everyone from the midwife onwards has.
I didn't know that BM & H knew where my lair was. They've always kept theirs a closely guarded secret (hardly surprising with Winwaloe occasionally loose on the Southfork/paw/ampton/wold or whatever!). Perhaps the reference to chimbleys means that they are going to pull the Santa trick and dump a load of instantly forgotten over-priced plastic toys down my smoke stack. Keep your antennae peeled and see if you can catch them evilly cackling 'ho ho ho' as they bag up their rubbish!
PS. Gave Shaun a snog on your behalf. He's all fuzzy.
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