Winwaloe
12 January 2004 14:01
Oh well that's him (her??) done for. The reference re pagans will cause all
sorts of offence. No doubt those brave and stalwart souls of whatever equality
board are already sharpening their talons and pens ready to have Toni defrocked,
removed, struck off, hammered out or whatever they do to scribes in St Ives.
Suppose he and RK-S could set up a new and radical newspaper but they would have
to do it offshore (The Island?) -
Vile Jelly
13 January 2004 10:48
I'd have thought he'd be alright actually, given that it was recently
revealed that it is now permissible to slag off every type of religion except
the muzzies. And since they don't drink they'd actually be quite welcome down
here on New Year's Eve.
Mind you, if they bring their SAMs with them and take a few pot-shots at the
Yanks at St. Mawgan we could have our greatest (and last) ever firework display!
Winwaloe
13 January 2004 11:58
Winwaloe enterprises invites you take part in a great money maker. The
Fireworks Show To End Them All. - What we do, (you will be an Associate of
Winwaloe Enterprises) is to advertise this beyond the Tamar borders and fill the
whole of Cardboard Bay with assorted emms, grockles, furiners and other assorted
types. The muzzies and the Yanks are booked for a strategic meeting of their
latest hardware, nukes or bugs and the dispaly begins. Winwaloe Enterprises has
sold thousands of tickets at £20 a time (remember this is teh show to end all
shows) and have now handed over to the main participants. Winwaloe Enterprises
Logistics Dept. calculates that if we are down to Sennen that evebing we should
be OK (nuke suits are provided anyway). With the latest clean nukes ST Ives
should be fairly OK and the RT, also dressed in nuke suits, can volunteer to
clean up. So, problems solved, no more emms, no more strategic participants and
wehave loads of money. Winwaloe Enterprises PR Dept. has just pointed out that
the Yanks will be firing our way and, due to their world beating friendly fire
record, it may be safer for the company to move to Norway for that evening (or
was it Norfolk?) -
Vile Jelly
14 January 2004 10:15
Sounds like a bargain to me and if we manage to pull it off we'll be able to
change the name of the pub in Sennen to The Complete Success Inn!
The only problem I foresee is how do we get the RT out of the Old Success to
go and do the cleaning up?
In the meantime, we have come up with an advertising slogan to attract the ems
and others who are hard of understanding:-
COME TO BEAUTIFUL, HISTORIC ST. IVES
Get pissed and trash the place
Meet up in Cardboard Bay for preliminary orientation meeting and introduction
to basic mindless destruction
Free Firework
Spectacular in
the evening!
Winwaloe
15 January 2004 08:42
Point taken re the RT, however suggest we tell them there is free beer in St
Ives for those that help. It might be nice to involve some of your other fans.
Andrew MacD could entertain on the Cornish pipes (what he does with them is up
to him but we know what these East Anglecan types are like when it comes to
entertainment), Maeve Colley Wobbles could sell apples and celia crab (whomever)
could sell shellfish, all adds to the gross profit!! -
Vile Jelly
15 January 2004 10:20
Yes, but by the time the festivities in St. Ives have subsided the RT may not
be capable of walking/flying/slithering/etc. back to clear up the mess. Best we
just sell the tons of toxic radioactive crap to the Tate Modern. In your
mackerel-filled cassock you could easily pass for a conceptual artist!
Not sure that we have got a set of Cornish pipes handy but failing that we can
get Mr. Mac to strangle Jethro. There must be more than one way of getting
hideous shrieks out of an old windbag!
PS. As of last going to press Mad Maeve had been dragged away by wild horses
..... or was it Whitehorses? Anyway, her availability may be in doubt.
Winwaloe
16 January 2004 14:50
Is Mr Mac really an old windbag and is Whitehorse(s) a local whisky ? -
Vile Jelly
16 January 2004 17:19
I was, of course, referring to Jethro not Mr. Burgerking as you well know,
you naughty saint-person.
As far as I know there is no local whisky. Presumably the local minebillies
(like hillbillies only underground) ferment and distil some concoction of tin
ore and blue elvan. Then, of course, there is the legendary Spingo Well for the
discerning ...
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