Going Round The Bends - E-Mail correspondence with Spooky St. Ives

Helen Bristol

16 April 2004 17:28

Contacting you

Ah, that explains it. Wondered why the clacks had gone silent. Have fun and when you've finished trawling through all those piccies you can enjoy a cool bottle of IPA. It was worth waiting to have something to celebrate!

Vile Jelly

17 April 2004 08:37

Hush, woman, we're trying to lie low here. I hope that you checked you weren't being followed before you came here or you might have led them straight to our hideout.

PS. This bloody mine is full of Knockers and Piskies. Have you seen the Churchill ad with the little green aliens? It's like that in here!

Helen Bristol

17 April 2004 10:02

's OK I was disguised as a seal.

We'll create a diversion. We're off to the Metrolops - no, not for the Marathon - a bit of culture. Concert at the Festival Hall and the pre-Raphaelite expo at the Tate (wash you're mouth out, Helen), the old one not Battersea power station.

PS Whatelse would you expect to find in a Cornish tin mine? Soup ore?

Vile Jelly

17 April 2004 10:59

I thought Raphael was one of the Teenage Mutant Turtles. Presumably, then, it's some sort of exhibition of children's TV cartoons prior to the 1990s.

PS. Yes, but I fear that they may lead the Reporting Team astray with their fey ways. I've already caught the Shauns singing that song the confederates used to sing ..... "Oh, I wish I was a pixie ... "!

Helen Bristol

17 April 2004 11:41

Quite so.

PS Be afraid, be very afraid if you hear Soupie and Soupette singing "The camp town ladies sing this song...."

Vile Jelly

17 April 2004 15:47

Hell, that's nothing. What I fear is the RT blokes coming back late at night singing "The Camborne ladies, etc."

Helen Bristol

19 April 2004 18:04

Feeling all cultured out now. You have to hand it to Ken, its a pleasure to be in the Metrolops these days. Hardly any traffic, no noise, no smells. I used to dread having to go to meeting and conferences. You don't have to take your life in your hands to get from A to B. Fantastic Calexico and Amparanoia concert. Pre-Raph expo very good. Walked over the Millenium Bridge. So much to see, so little time. Got back here absolutely knackered.

Now gearing up for hols in Cornshire. Don't pull a sickie again!

Vile Jelly

20 April 2004 11:00

I can feel incipient diptheria setting in even as we speak! Can you confirm exact dates so I can pre-book a bed in the ITU at Treliske!

Helen Bristol

20 April 2004 18:33

How can you do that when you said there's no NHS in Cornshire? Even as I sit here looking at an ad for 2 senior jobs in the north and west of the county. Can't you be a bit more imaginative and vague?

Vile Jelly

21 April 2004 09:35

Didn't say there was anyone running the horse-piddle, just said there was a bed there! Well, you would be, wouldn't you? As an insider you'd get access to all the good stuff first. Anyway, mock ye not. I never went on about it much in the news bulletins (as the readership don't like seeing anything that might upset their rose-tinted view of Cornwall) but, despite massive protests, petitions, marches, political assassinations, etc. the future (or otherwise) of West Cornwall horse-piddle is still yet to be confirmed. Which means that if it closes and you have the misfortune to break a leg or three at Land's End the nearest hossie is going to be Treliske. Forget the air ambulance, they might as well convert it to an air hearse and cut out the middle part of the transaction!

How about wildly contagious Caisson's Disease?

Helen Bristol

21 April 2004 18:26

I was thinking of sometink like sub-acute rosicea.

Vile Jelly

22 April 2004 14:44

Nah, it's Caisson's Disease for me all the way. Let's see them try to come up with an anti-biotic for that!

Helen Bristol

22 April 2004 17:46

Hardly likely. Just don't come up for air too quickly.

Vile Jelly

22 April 2004 18:07

Oh, I fully intend to spend my time in the depths of our tin-mine hideout.

So long as the RT bring me gifts of tasty and nutritious beverages and the ROW bring me gifts of hatred and contempt there's no need for me to surface.

Helen Bristol

22 April 2004 18:18

ROW? Sorry I'm all spaced out - massage time again!

Vile Jelly

23 April 2004 08:26

Rest of the world.

As opposed to yourself, who seems mainly to occupy a world of rest. Yet another massage? You've been manipulated so much now you must qualify as a government statistic!

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