|
Helen Bristol 03 September 2004 17:54 Critique
Good-looking is not an expression one would use.................. good
looking perhaps.....and a little on the chunky side.
There is obviously a good brain, intelligence, quick wit, humour and a little
wisdom.
An interest in music, literature, history, walking, and good in the
kitchen.............and elsewhere possibly.
There is little more that could be added.
How else could one
describe...............................................oneself?
Vile Jelly 06 September 2004 15:55
Lo Ling STOP
The Sonics reporting here:- STOP
Have intercepted and investigated your report STOP Appears to confirm our
suspicions STOP Could you please clarify following points STOP:-
"Good-looking is not an expression one would use" - This would
appear to indicate the presence of vileness STOP
"a little on the chunky side" - Could this be explained by a
jelly-like blobbiness? STOP
Your confirmation of these points could indicate the presence of the creature
known only as Vile Jelly STOP Please respond ASAP STOP As if there is a VJ
operating in our area then we may be in peril STOP
Just the thought of his vileness has unsettled us so we are popping down to
the pub for a few beers to soothe our ruffled spikes STOP In fact, we are so
worried that once we get a few down we are unlikely to Stop
Helen Bristol 06 September 2004 18:24
Sonics,
Lost in translation - should have read "Good-looking is not an expression
one would use ....interesting perhaps" so as not to risk repeating
myself. STOP
I don't think I have a jelly-like blobbiness. I'd prefer Reubenesque,
sounds...well....nicer, somehow.STOP
Fear not, Sonics, re-read the massage. A VJ isn't named is
it?STOP
STOP panicking...............but get one in for me.
Vile Jelly 07 September 2004 09:41
Hel Hel STOP
It is I, the Shauns STOP I mean we, the Shaun STOP Baaaah we will never get
the hang of speaking humanish STOP
Ennywahey, we think you have misunderstood the Sonics STOP When they said
'jelly-like blobbiness' they were referring to the subject of your report not
you STOP That's what we think but we can't confirm with the blue and spikey
boys as they have mysteriously disappeared STOP They went out last night
muttering something about needing to restore their nerves and haven't been
seen since STOP There have been ugly rumours of a VJ (or possibly rumours of
an ugly VJ) lurking in the neighbourhood and we are worried that they might
have been hog-napped STOP
Send help STOP Or beer STOP We are nervously biting our hoofnails in worry
even though Soupie has told us to STOP
Helen Bristol 07 September 2004 19:03
Shaun, Shaun STOP STOP
Affirm subject of report not, repeat not, VJ STOP Re-read (or get Soupie
to read to you) original massage STOP
Think VJ promulgated the report under of psuedonym STOP How
unlike him STOP
Lucy bringing supplies STOP Should arrive Friday pip emma unless she is
Stopped
Sure Sonics are OK but keep informed STOP
Lo Ling
Vile Jelly 07 September 2004 22:15
Oh hell hello Helling STOP
It's the Erics here STOP Something must have got lost in translation
(inevitably with the Shauns involved) STOP To whom (or what) does the report
refer STOP
V. concerned STOP The Shauns went out to look for the Sonics STOP Now they
have also not returned STOP Rest of the RT now forming expedition to find the
S&S STOP Soupie remaining at HQ to co-ordinate our efforts STOP Send any
further messages (and G&T) to Soupie STOP
Will try to hold on for the Red Cross (aka Lucy when annoyed by Shaun) STOP
Have started filling a silo with red wine for you and won't STOP
Helen Bristol 08 September 2004 17:54
Oh hell is right STOP
Rescue team shopped STOP Supplies spotted STOP Lucy potted STOP
Beer slopped STOP
Try Plan B STOP Send 3/4d we're going to a dance STOP
Vile Jelly 09 September 2004 09:25
Helling, dear heart, Soupie here STOP
The RT Expeditionary Force set out yesterday evening but I have lost contact
with them STOP Worse still I am down to my last lake of G&T STOP Will have
to go out for more supplies (might as well look for the boys at the same time)
STOP Just hope that I don't fall foul of the VJ beast as well STOP Better get
on with the search STOP
If only I knew where to start STOP
Helen Bristol 09 September 2004 18:16
Oh dear, Soupie, you sound like a colleague at work [What?
Down to her last lake of G&T?].
Lucy unpotted STOP Invasion force of VJs spotted "somewhere in East
Angular" STOP Have to stop the blobs STOP POST lookouts
STOP Send in the Stouts and Browns STOP Bitter end for them STOP
Vile Jelly 10 September 2004 10:18
Helling, Soupie here again STOP
I have found the rest of the RT STOP I went out to look for them and popped
into the Slurp (just to make enquiries of course) STOP And there they all were
STOP Some of them in a fairly 'relaxed' condition (Orm was completely legless
but I suppose one must make allowances in his case) STOP
N E Way, they said that they'd discovered that drinking beer seriously reduced
fear of VJs STOP Well, I was about to let them feel the wrath of my rolling
pin when they said they'd got half a dozen vats of G&T lined up for me
STOP They're quite dear boys after all STOP I did ask them why they hadn't
phoned to let me know but they said that they don't know how to use a phone
STOP Which, I suppose, explains why the Sonics always have to go out to get
the pizzas STOP
So, a good time was had by all STOP Of course, this means we'll have to keep
going every day because the fear of VJs will return if we STOP
|
I (that’s me) own the copyright in all the content of this site (except where otherwise acknowledged). You can read it, download it, transmit it and reproduce it only for your own personal use. You are not allowed to bugger about with it. If your computer explodes as a result of accessing this site and its contents, it’s nothing to do with me, mate! Copyright Vile Jelly Publications 2001-2009. All rights (and some wrongs) reserved. |