Car parking? On the Island?
Forget it.
The whole world and his dog seems to want to park in the Island Car Park.
There are only 146 spaces which are virtually permanently filled during the
Summer. Frankly you've got more chance of becoming the next Pope then you have
of getting into the Island Car Park during daylight hours.
There is plenty of car parking space further up in the town but everyone
seems to have to just absolutely insist on trying the impossible. So, they crawl
through town, clogging up the Wharf and mowing down unsuspecting pedestrians.
Hot, sweaty and bad-tempered they finally arrive at the Island Car Park only to
discover .....
Top Tip
Save yourself time and trouble by getting a street map of St. Ives and
finding where the big car parks are. Once located proceed to them without
hesitation or deviation.
CLASSIC CONVERSATIONS
Driver: Can you park
cars here?
Attendant: Yes, sir, it's a car park.
Driver: Oh, good, can I
park here, then?
Attendant: No. sir, it's full. That's why we put that sign
up.
Driver: What sign?
Attendant: That one there that says 'Car Park Full'.
Driver: Alright, I'm not
stupid, you know..... Why's it full?
Attendant: Because there are a limited number of spaces and
they've all got a car in them.
Driver: Don't
take that tone with me or I'll have you sacked. If the car park is full why are
you letting cars in?
Attendant: We aren't, sir, that's why we put those cones
out that you've just run over.
Driver: Right,
that's it. Give me your name, you $%&@# .....
[We couldn't get the rest of this conversation past the censors]
Penwith District Council has so far declined to comment on rumours that their
car park attendants are now being issued with personal rocket launchers to
assist them in their jobs.
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