South Career!

"St? Winwaloe"

01 July 2003 16:10

Beware the Arms of Saints

Why the great interest in my arms? Although attached to the Saintly self they are fairly normal arms connecting my hands with my shoulders. This Ando MacDonold has obviously spent to long on the Adnams and to long away from the Wreckers! Alea jacta est as we say. Well I don't but some do. This competition will not be recognised by the Royal College of Cornish Saints and, even if it is, the first prize will be awarded to a fellow of a well known and highly rated St I's eatery (and it's not a pub!!). As to naming names of pretentious eateries well, I will give it a second chance and Mrs Winwaloe and the Saintlets will be taken there again. If the wine is still corked, if I get the same wine back and the if the food is still pretentious I will name names!! Now about this White Mouse. Well if it was a rabbit it would be the one from Eglashayle (can't recall if that is how you spell it)churchyard and not something from a work of fiction. It may have been a piskie. We got piskie led coming off the Hooting Carn after the Great Eclipse (yes turning the saintly garment inside out did work), may have been the same lot. Alice in Wonderland was, I rather think set in East Jugular with a mad Scot and his leaping pipes. Right have a few Saintly jobs to do. Look into the chippy for me - W

Benatugana - Tereba nessa - Winwaloe   

Vile Jelly

01 July 2003 16:35

Personally, I believe that it was a typo and should have read 'Alice in Sunderland' .....
..... and if you've ever been there, it all makes perfect sense.
I'm not sure that the saintlets would benefit from being exposed to Macdonalds, couldn't they dedicate themselves to a more meaningful cause ..... like .....
or are they too (Carl) Jung for that?
PS. Are you ever going to manifest down here? We keep sacrificing emmets but nothing ever happens.
Where are we going wrong? Should we dance around their bloated corpses anti-clockwise and/or after midnight?

"St? Winwaloe"

02 July 2003 10:27

I did go to Sunderland once but it was closed for the decade. Actually the saintlets do like beer although, much to their annoyance, they are kept on the low alcohol stuff leaving the heavyside layer for saints proper. More of a Carls Berg philosophy but taken in Camra. As to manifestations in St I's. Well Mrs Winwaloe and I are discussing it on a regular basis, it is the length of manifestation that seems to be causing the problem. She is for a couple of weeks when the sun is out and I am for ever as, like other people of considerable note, my aim is to live in the land of Saints and Piskies. I am undertaking a study to determine if there are more piskies than saints and will let you know the results at an appropriate time. Thinking about this, your reporting team has been pretty dreadful of late why not set them on the task?

Vile Jelly

02 July 2003 12:49

I think you are barking up the incorrect aspidistra! Piskies are, in fact, the larval form of Cornish saints. However, due to the 'dreckly' principle, it takes them a millennium or two to pupate, hence the confusion.

If you want to move down here why don't you just go for it? You could sell your penthouse flat in the Big Stench and get a dilapidated cowshed down here. Then you could get a rewarding job in the tourist industry for four and a half quid an hour and just watch the riches roll in. With your fluent Cornese you will be a shoo-in for a job as a 'local character' in the Theme Park or, if it's actually gibberish rather than Cornish, you will be a shoo-in for a job as a guide in the Tate. Mrs W could take over the skool and try to introduce education into the local sprogs' curriculum. All in all, a plan with no obvious drawbacks!

Or are the saintlets too old to be trained up in advance surfing, skateboarding and doingbuggerall?

PS. Leave the Reporting Team alone. If it wasn't for their investigative journalism you might have made the mistake of visiting the North Inn in Pendeen. Then you'd have been sorry!

"St? Winwaloe"

04 July 2003 10:16

Well the saintlets are much into surfing (and not just the net)and practically anything to do with the sea. This causes certain issues when your cell is in the Home Counties!! However, Saints and Saintability will prevail. Yes Mrs W could sort out the local school although they might have a problem with all this new fangled learning that belongs up to London. You are quite wrong about the Piskies, there is nothing remotely Saintly about the ones that I have met. Now the P's do like the beer because whenever I see them there is always a pint or four of Skinners or Wreckers in the offing. Re the work/property side. Well I should be able to buy a small cell somewhere in the West Penwith area if not perhaps a cave up on the moor. Perhaps I could take over a disused mine shaft up to Dingdong? Something will be sorted! Now as to work, as a professionaly trained singer I cna sing on street corners and collect the groats thrown at me. I would also rather like to be a Droll Teller and then, well the man with the lamp doing the ghost tours is rather a good idea, perhaps I will suggest a way or two we can liven the tour up. This is getting better and better!!! - By the way you might benefit from constant use of the following Cornese - Thove zehez, Ethick zehez o ve, Eze core, Eze muna thewh - Proper Job!!!!-tereba nessa, Anowre

Vile Jelly

04 July 2003 15:42

No, no, you misapprehend. Piskies are proto-saints who have to work out all their demons and excesses (hence the long gestation period) before they can achieve divine status. Have you not yourself taken many steps down the long and winding path of Cornish beer-quaffing?

I look forward to your busking of 'The Men Of Trelawney' and other classic Cornish disco smashes. Not sure why you would want to collect goats off the passers-by though. Wouldn't sheep (or hedgehogs, dragons, etc.) be better?

PS. If you're looking for a job, the way things are going I think there'll be a vacancy in the Sloop Slave Galley soon.

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