"St? Winwaloe"

15 July 2003 09:55

Scool Holidays (St Ives spelling?)

Well the witching hour approaches and once again the whole of Cornwall (with the possible exception of the A30) will eagerly await herds of visitors. Emmets rule OK ! for a week or six. Now, a few suggestions on how to survive - 1) Move to East Jugular for the duration
- 2) Move to Scotland for ditto (you find Scotland by heading North until you get nowhere and then you are there should you happen to fall into the sea you have either gone too far left or right or driven off the end) It will either be raining or you will be eaten alive by midges a sort of Scots equiv to St I's seagulls. 3) Lay in lots and lots of Doombar and take your self upto All Bar Noon resting place and dig in. 4) Enjoy all that hard earned money that the visitors bring and spend !! - If you are VERY lucky you may receive a visitation. Although the Saintlets will be accompanying me so will Lady Voldermort so beware (aka Mrs Winwaloe) - Launch a Lifeboat or two and get the visitors in the swing of thongs - Fish and Chips here I come!!!!!!

Benatugana - Tereba nessa - Winwaloe  

Vile Jelly

15 July 2003 10:39

Too late, chummer. The legions of hell (or, leastways, the vanguard) have already arrived.

Typically the high season got off to a flying stop yesterday when most of St. Ives lost electrical power for a few hours. Suspected cause either lightning or routine incompetence. Which left the poor old ems with nothing much to do except dodge the thundery showers by way of entertainment.

PS. Not sure about getting in 'the swing of thongs'. Sounds a bit eye-watering to me!

PPS. The RT will keep an eye out for the advent of your fiery chariot descending from the heavens but you'd better let me know when you're coming just on the million-to-one chance that they're in the pub when you do.

"St? Winwaloe"

15 July 2003 15:33

I am not sure if the RT would recognise a manifestation if it hit them on the head with a fresh mackeral!!

Vile Jelly

15 July 2003 21:26

Well, you'll never know until you try it!

C'mon, prove the sceptics wrong and perform an actual miracle. The RT are waiting with quills poised to chronicle it. Otherwise you'll just be stuck with dull old St. Ives news that so bores you.

"St? Winwaloe"

16 July 2003 12:16

Well I have taken you up on your challenge and i look forward to a full and accurate report!

Vile Jelly

16 July 2003 16:22

We look forward to your imminent manifestation.

The Reporting Team are all agog since the Shauns told them you were going to lead us to the Promiscuous Land!

"St? Winwaloe"

17 July 2003 11:24

What do you mean "look forward". I've been and gone! This just goes to show that your reporting team is really not very quick off the mark, or anything else. Get the little beggers out the pub boy!

Vile Jelly

17 July 2003 14:28

Oh Lordy, no!

The last time I tried to persuade the RT to leave the pub I woke up the next morning in the nearest hospital (in St. John's, Newfoundland) with severe hoof/paw/spike-related puncture marks.

PS. How are you intending to convert the unbelievers if no one can see your manifestations?

"St? Winwaloe"

7 July 2003 15:00

Emmet Armageddon?

Vile Jelly

17 July 2003 16:07

Not sure.

All I know is I want to hear the emmets saying 'Armageddon out of here'!

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