Caveat Emptor!


Andrew Macdonald

15 July 2003 16:40

Mega Opportunity

As I was perusing the increasingly megalomaniac ramblings of the faintly saintly one t'other day, an idea wafted distant and wraithlike before me. Following the unparalleled response to the recent competition, it struck me that we have an untapped source of wealth beyond the dreams of avarice staring us in the face.  Winwaloe (TM) (R) (C)  merchandise!  A range of stylish and sophisticated gifts to make you the envy of your friends!  Winwaloe (TM) (R) (C) fridge magnets, the Winwaloe (TM) (R) (C) lean, mean, pasty burning machine, Winwaloe (TM) (R) (C) combo toilet roll 'n' magazine holders, the Winwaloe (TM) (R) (C) discreet nasal hair remover (batteries not supplied), and for the kiddies, the Winwaloe (TM) (R) (C) duvet, pillow case and sleepsuit set (Social Services notified).   We can probably even find room for a Winwaloe (TM) (R) (C) cruet set, hand crafted from 100% stinky old resin stuff.
 
The list is endless, and think of the tie-in opportunities, Winwaloe (TM) (R) (C) cola, the Winwaloe (TM) (R) (C) quarter pounder with cheese (and if I'd wanted f****** fries, I'd have f****** asked for them), and even Sharps Winwaloe (TM) (R) (C) Braindead Bitter, for the more sophisticated palate.
 
Act now, before it's too late.  Get it all sewn up now so if anyone else tries it, you can invite their apologetic donkey to cough up container loads of cash. Now.
 
PS Helling has asked me to look into some Latin for you, which I will do, but if your Latin is rusty, mine has corroded into an unrecognisable lump.  Sic transit gloria mundi.  Or something.

A good idea?

winwaloe mag.jpg (40637 bytes)

Vile Jelly

15 July 2003 21:35

Now, there's an offer we can't refuse.
 
Or is it a potential timebomb we can't defuse?
 
Either way the possibilities seem fraught with potential profits and perils.
 
What to do?
 
If only someone would send us a sign (preferably a cheque bearing a pound sign, followed by a one and lots of noughts!).
 
Also, I presume that we would need Winwaloe to sign over his image rights ..... But on the other hand he has been threatening to show his halo in St. Ives anon and I'm sure the RT would love to subject him to a severe hoofing after all the nasty things he has been saying to slag them off. Maybe we could get him to sign something in his delirium while we are waiting for the ambulance to arrive (which should give us at least a week to work him over if it tries to negotiate High Street and the Wharf!).
 
PS. My anti-virus (or whatever) objected to your e-mu attachment. I am not sure at this point if it is salvageable.

Andrew Macdonald

16 July 2003 10:23

One or t'other, but for a man of your undoubted grasp of the minutiae of the finer points of business and entrepreneurial flair and elan, it should be a mere bagatelle.  (Phew! Managed to get four languages in there, French, Latin, Italian, Yorkshire, and something which could be mistaken for English)  And I can't count.
 
The image rights bit is easy.  When St W turns up, all you have to do is pin him to the bar and force feed him pints of John Smiths Smoothflow until he gives in.  Shouldn't take long..
 
Your anti-virus is being a little hypersensitive (or a complete crock of shit, as we in the business call it) so I've attached the virus free attachment again.

Vile Jelly

16 July 2003 16:18

Well, I can see the piccy and have (hopefully) copied it on to my hard drive. Mayhap I will be able to transpose it on to SSI.
 
Perchance my Auntie Virus prog didn't like it because of the subject matter rather than anything to do with the electric elves who run the internet. I must admit that it is not an image I would particularly want to find confronting me as I grope for the milk first thing in the morning!

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