A Chorus Of Booze!

"St? Winwaloe"

04 October 2003 14:47

Rabiits and large holes

Saintly investigations lead us to believe that the large holes appearing about town are actually landfill sites created by this monstrous rabbit Harvey for the RT's emty beer cans!
Benatugana - Tereba nessa - Winwaloe   

Vile Jelly

05 October 2003 08:18

Nonsense, the RT wouldn't lay a paw/hoof/appendage on the canned rubbish (although I suppose Soupie might have a few thousand empty Plymouth Gin bottles).

We suspect that it's the new affordable housing project for the locals so that they are all securely buried underground and won't inconvenience the ems when they next want to visit their personal playground!

"St? Winwaloe"

06 October 2003 14:19

Presumably locals not liking this idea would be Knockers?

Vile Jelly

06 October 2003 15:25


And the reason they'd be knockers would be because the plan is cobblers!

But enough of such scatological humour. Big Mac and Helling are threatening to turn up in the Slupe tonight. Currently busy getting the RT scrubbed up and into their tuxedos before I have to report back into the Slave Pits.

"St? Winwaloe"

08 October 2003 09:14

Is that the American influence in Cornwall?

Vile Jelly

08 October 2003 09:49

Well, I did try Bond Street first but they said bespoke or not they didn't do DJ's for hedgehogs, sheep, etc.

No wonder they are all going out of business.

Now, the yanks, as you know, will sell anything to anybody. That's how the RT got their 'Stealth Bomber and Cruise Missile' Starter Kit last Xmas.

"St? Winwaloe"

09 October 2003 13:21

This expalins the Oussama Bin Hedgehog posters seen on the only working lampost in carbolic bay. Of course, if you get them phase two this yeaar it could help with the ems next year (Saintly personages excluded) - Did your X team turn up?

Vile Jelly

09 October 2003 17:25

Pah! If the RT had a serious agenda against humanity they would have done more than persecute me and con the gullible into a one-way ticket to hell!

The Stealth Bomber allows them to fly about St. Ives relieving their wotsits while being able to blame it all on the seagulls. They use the cruise missiles to shoot down cruise ships full of rich people (a 21st century form of wrecking?).

BM & H duly arrived (unlike certain mythological correspondents. Although they claim, on the basis of their latest research trip, to have rumbled you). Much DB was consumed, much suffering visited me the next morning. Even under duress the Soup Dragon refused to give up the recipe for Blue String Soup.

"St? Winwaloe"

10 October 2003 09:05

They seek him here they seek him there they seek the saintly chap everywhere. Will the RT find him if they seek high and low the wonderful saintly Winwaloe!!

Vile Jelly

10 October 2003 09:39

Weren't you that wino they saw in Penzance bus station last week?
He sure talked a lot like you (although admittedly he could see Harvey so maybe he was just a Winwaloe-wannabe!).
Anyway, once he realised he really was talking to blue hedgehogs he dropped the bottle of meths and checked into The Priory so hopefully it all ended happily.

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