Fall Or Nothing


Gill Richards

13 November 2003 15:08

RE: a sting on the tail

what'ya gonna do?

Vile Jelly

17 November 2003 09:52

I'll decide after my mail-order Kalashnikovs turn up.

Gill Richards

17 November 2003 15:07

Order probably on hold considering the state of national security that Dubya wants.
Just read SSI. The gratitude of some people!

On a different matter, and one that has been worrying me for some time; have you noticed how many people have lost the ability to say 'something'? Too many people say 'somethink' and it's not the thickies either, an awful lot of supposedly intelligent peeps say it too. I think it's an alien invasion. Who's to say they should come amongst us in human form? Do you think i'm onto something(k)?

Vile Jelly

17 November 2003 15:38

Do you think I'd be so dumb as to order the weaponry direct from the US?

No, I've just filled in a small form saying that I am a right-wing paramilitary organisation trying to overthrow a(ny) government which is, of course, in cahoots with Osama Qaeda Mujaheddin!

I don't bother with B&Q, MFI or DFS, I shop CIA.

And so now, as the RT say, goodbye humans!

PS. And as they also say ..... bwahahahaha!

Gill Richards

17 November 2003 15:55

It won't work. Now that you've told us all that, your devilish plan is doomed. Anyone who wants to take over the world should know that you should just get on with it.

Vile Jelly

17 November 2003 16:22

It has worked.

Say goodbye to global domination, say hello to Mr. D-FENS!

Gill Richards

18 November 2003 08:08

hello Mr D-FENS!

Vile Jelly

18 November 2003 09:31

Too late. I have already fallen down.

Gill Richards

18 November 2003 09:33

oh dear. were you defeated? by too much beer?

Vile Jelly

19 November 2003 10:21

No. Obviously you haven't seen the film Falling Down.

Get thee hence to any half decent video place and discover the hilarious story of what happens when people stop caring about people who don't care about people.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a non-existent job to go to.

Gill Richards

19 November 2003 12:49

No, haven't seen it, sounds really chirpy! I shall toodle along one day when when i have more than five minutes to spare.

How does that work then?

Vile Jelly

19 November 2003 17:09

It isn't. It isn't supposed to be but it's a damn good watch and asks some questions about the consequences of treating people badly because you can and the consequences of what might happen if you suddenly got the chance to fulfil your 'perfect moment of revenge' moment. (The "we've stopped serving from that menu" in it's-officially-not-but-we-all-know-it's-McDonalds scene is a classic). Michael Douglas is OK but doesn't really look downbeat enough. Robert Duvall does and is brilliant as the done-down cop struggling with a similar slippery slope of unalterable choices. His message to the Captain at the end is one of the most sublime moments of swearing ever. No heroes, not many genuine villains. Jus' folks trying to cope and some of them falling down. Pull a sicky and watch it, you'll never see burger bars in the same light again!

You have to see the film, then you'll get it.

Gill Richards

20 November 2003 09:41

ok.

i was actually being facetious about the chirpy bit, but now i will toodle along and get it cos it sounds good. I tend not to go into burger bars on principle, but i know of their awfulness. Maybe i'll get it this weekend, i need an excuse not to do more sanding.

Vile Jelly

20 November 2003 10:59

You mean you actually need a genuine reason for not doing it?
 
Tsk, tsk, woman (as elephants say), you are clearly not thinking clearly, don't you think?
 
As luck (bad in your case) would have it I have just returned from verbal jousting with Windy Loe and, having chucked the gauntlet in his chops, am now obliged to subject you to the same challenge. Selected lowlights reproduced below, trust they are self-exploratory!
 
PS. A propos of the last item, you obviously need some mental stimulation to get your few braincells turning over again and prevent you perpetrating further crassness, so I shall set you a simple problemette and will do likewise for Gill Richards who just happens to be e-mail-ly passing at the same time:-
 
Facetious is (allegedly) one of only two words in the English language in which the vowels 'aeiou' occur only once and in the correct order. Your mission, should you accept it, is to come up with the other.
 
Loser gets burnt at the stake (unless Gill loses, in which case the winner does)!
C'mon Gill, win one for the Gipper!

Gill Richards

20 November 2003 11:10

Well not really, but it won't get done unless i do it (husband not into decorating) and it's half done so looks a mess.
 
I try not to.
 
Ah ha!!    Abstemious - curiously apt!

Vile Jelly

20 November 2003 14:19

Congratulations!
 
Once again the quality readership manifest where the alleged saint falls short of the mark.
 
Your prize (if you want it) is an XL St. Ives 2003 Beerfest polo shirt. Please forward (not to be published) mailing address and the RT will run round with it.

Gill Richards

20 November 2003 14:31

Hoorah! I never win anything!
 
Much as i would like a Beerfest polo shirt (honest) i am not an XL and fear that it would be reminiscent of a tent like thing. Send some pasties and maybe one day it'll fit! Shame, i would like to meet the RT.

Vile Jelly

20 November 2003 16:37

But you can, the RT are currently appearing at:-
 
The Sloop, The Lifeboat, The Union, The Castle, The Golden Lion, The Queens, The Three Ferrets, The Kiddlywink, The Whiff of Sheat and other good watering holes in your area.
 
PS. The aforementioned shirt is untouched by human (or even Vile Jelly's) hand.

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