Helen Bristol

26 March 2004 17:34

Re:

Multiple occurences but not multiple venues!

Vile Jelly

26 March 2004 17:55

Too late, I am promulgating even as we speak.
 
Now it will be a whole week before he can attempt to quash the scandal!

Helen Bristol

26 March 2004 18:10

Now, there's a pity. I can sense even through the ether that you're really distressed about that. I wasn't even attempting, albeit half-heartedly, to prevent nasturtiums being cast.

Vile Jelly

26 March 2004 19:18

Well, just tune into this week's e-mus and see how much brain-shredding effort has had to be put into justifying my existence. Even worse, the RT's existence, because they can only have life if people believe in them. After all that, you do tend to fall back into old, familiar patterns of relying on your friends to feed you a few easy lines to regain your equilibrium.
 
PS. I am not into monk-y play myself, so I have never even frowned at a Dominican let alone cast a Cistercian.
 
PPS. Sorry, my hearing/reading seems to have gone the same way as my brain/personality/hairline!
 
PPPS. Bibble ...

Helen Bristol

27 March 2004 11:43

I think you'd better go and lie down in a darkened room for the rest of the weekend. Its obviously been a very trying week for you.  Oh no, that would mean missing the rugger, b*****.
 
Of course the RT exist - maybe at different levels of reality for different peeps.  They are as real as you or me!
 
PS pardon?

Vile Jelly

28 March 2004 08:27

Did anyway. Had to drivel to Executor Airport to pick up the fogies after a fortnight of debauchery in Portugal. Back in time for the England match but kept dozing off after the best part of 6 hours on the A30 anyway. I'd tipped the Franks to win at the start of the 6 Nations (well 5 plus Scotland) so there was no surprise there. (By the way, is your interest in rouge bee long-standing or has it developed recently due to those skimpy, spray-on shirts they now wear?).
 
Speak for yourself. I'm not real. Or I won't be once all the anti-SSI gestapo catch up with me.
 
PS. Sorry. What I meant to say was 'custardfish'.

Helen Bristol

28 March 2004 12:40

Hope their hols in Portugal was better than ours a few years ago.  Not to be repeated - too many Brits, especially sprogs who should have been at skool and frankly needed to be.
 
My friend's dad used to get tickets for the 7s finals at Twickers for us when we were at skool, added to which there were one or two ( I confess to no more) who played the game. 
 
Don't like the spray on shirts.  Now if you're talking spray-on  -  think cycle shorts........
 
PS there are times you say the funniest things - times when you're profound - and times when I don't understand a word.

Vile Jelly

28 March 2004 14:25

Unfortunately (if you are into Schadenfreude), they seem to have had a thoroughly enjoyable time. They were in the Algarve (mebbe Albufeira, if that makes sense, I can't dismember off the top of my head) but wherever it was they were in the old part of town. They said the new tourist bits of the burg were moderately ghastly to look at but they were in the Portuguese bit as opposed to the Engerlund Enclave. Vinho verde all the way with nary a sniff of Carlsberg Special Brew! Still, at least they brought me back a bottle of port (vintage stuff for laying down), although I still don't see why they need holidays when they are retired. They did manage to get cracking weather (as opposed to wet and windy St. Ives) but they also managed to catch stonking colds, so you can't win them all.
 
I don't even want to think about cycle shorts. A bloke I knew at uni did road cycling sport and he once showed me what his leg looked like after he span off at a chicane (or whatever) and slid along the tarmac. I think I'd rather skip trying to impress the oglers with my skimpy, spray-on shorts and wear long pants to prevent my legs looking like they've been cheese-gratered!
 
PS. Well, we've got jellyfishes so why not custardfishes?
 
PPS. Not that that is supposed to make any more sense. It's difficult to come up with a purely literary analogy of a nervous breakdown. So much easier to communicate the required imagery if you can do the actions at the same time.

Helen Bristol

28 March 2004 18:27

We were at a place called Burgau ( or sometink like that) I'd stayed in the Algave previously at the Spanish end, when Faro was just an airstrip.  Also stayed in Porto but yet again all I met was Engerlanders.  People thought I was odd saying I wanted to meet the natives.
 
I don't want to think about cycles shorts - just can't help myself.
 
PS or swordfishes and scuttlefishes

Vile Jelly

29 March 2004 09:10

Try to think of Bernard Manning in cycle shorts. That should break you of the habit (provided you survive the shock)!
 
PS. Lucy is a sub-aqua person who scuttles so does that make her a scuttlefish?
 
PPS. If I took a job with Matthew Stevens flogging his piscine products would that make me sell-fish?
 
PPPS. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need a fresh cup of cha. Can't stand coffee. I guess I'm just a man o' tea!

Helen Bristol

29 March 2004 20:10

You'll have to excuse me today, study day on risk assessmnet and the Law.  Boy, what a mine field.
followed by:
 making a curry from the raw ingredients, just come down off the ceiling.
 
Now about these cycle shorts.  Its well known at t'ospital that I watch Le Tour, etc, so I can't back away now, Bernard or no Bernard
 
PS the rest I can't cope with at the mo, Perhaps tomorrow after my massage!

Vile Jelly

30 March 2004 09:20

Risk assessment and the law? That's a doddle. Just remember the basics; if the law come your way run away to avoid exposing yourself to unnecessary truncheonings and prison sentences. Unless you're a judge/barrister/solicitor don't get involved in law. Law is exactly like crime in that the ordinary Joe and Joanne Q. Public suffer at the hands of it while the perpetrators of law and crime get rich on the process.
 
How was the curry or are you now re-attached to the ceiling?
 
Okey-pokey. I'll assume you are off-massage until further notice!

Helen Bristol

30 March 2004 19:35

Feeling suitably ........massaged.  Relaxed.  Cool.  Calm. Collected. Back on-message.... until Saturday , then off-massage again.
 
'though I shouldn't say so, it was a superb chicken korma. BM had bought 2 chicken breast fillets (as they now seem to be called) for Sunday's meal,  3/4 lb EACH - 36 F- now where did he get that idea? - so we had one on Sunday and one yesterday. 
 
It took me all day to deal with a backlog of post and emails. Tomorrow I work. 

Vile Jelly

31 March 2004 08:47

Beware and fall not too greatly for your masseurs. They may appear friendly, helpful and caring but deep down they are really manipulative schemers!
 
Surprised you managed to get the e-mail through given your flagrant breach of the 'Metric Mesurements Or Death' Edict. Even more surprised you survived the curry if you only cooked the chicking at 36F! Would have thought Gas Mark 4/5 more appropriate but what the hell would I know, I couldn't even hold down a job in the people-poisoning trade.

Helen Bristol

31 March 2004 18:01

If a gal can't fall over for her masseur then whoelse can she do it for?  But its OK 'cos I've got my eye wide shut.
 
Nor could I.  That's why I joined the people-recovery end of the market.

Vile Jelly

01 April 2004 09:00

What? You mean you repossess them if they don't pay their hospital bills? Wouldn't it be easier just to pull their stitches out/reinfect them/whatever on the spot rather than lugging the whole person back to HQ? No wonder your back's buggered!

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