Gill Richards

09 August 2004 17:03

obviously. how are you holding them? tricky little buggers keep pinging about i should imagine..
 
I know. that's why the little old ladies look so p'd off. they had to go in to tidy the place.
 
Ok i won't. people must have decided to stay in the country for their hols this year (instead of in the airports).
 
I was reading the emus on the site this lunch time and reflected how nice it was to read an exchange between two blokes for a change (see, i don't count Winwaloe, he spouts too much). It is a completely different kind of whittering, quite refreshing....now i'm off home, i think i've been working too hard...

Vile Jelly

10 August 2004 08:46

Oh, the usual chef's way. Perhaps if I took a bigger run up ...
 
I heard they were narked because the blokes who were originally supposed to do the tidying up while they took the dog to the beach and the kids to the vets tried to cut corners and just stuff everything out of the way in cupboards til they were full to bursting. Hence, all the subsequent complaints about the fallout!
 
I'm not bothered about what people are doing. It's what the ems are doing that's griefing me!
 
Well, you should be grateful. You would have wasted years disguising yourself as a bloke and trying to infiltrate the freemasons to find that out.

Gill Richards

10 August 2004 08:55

or try a bigger knife.
 
that could also be true, it is of many households anyway.
 
sorry, that should have read ems. People are a different species of course.
 
Why would i want to do that? As Helling knows we are the superior sex. I've already done that, i even know the handshake.

Vile Jelly

10 August 2004 14:17

It's not the size that counts ..... !
 
Well, what do you expect? You members of the female species just don't think things through. If you clean things you just create an environment for more dirt to appear. However, if you leave the original dirt in situ then there is no room for the new dirt and, thusly, you contribute to reducing global dirtying. Logic is a wonderful labour-saving invention. You can use it to justify doing nothing in almost all circumstances.
 
Exactement.
 
I thought you might be interested in the leopardskin pinny and trouserleg-rolling thingy. N E Way, if you're the superior species how come you chose to have the agonies of childbirth, PMT, cellulite and Germaine Greer?

Gill Richards

10 August 2004 14:25

we just tell you that to keep you happy.
 
Oh, my way of thinking entirely. I don't subscribe to the female club of weekly (or daily, can you imagine!!!) housework. I do mine when i can't open the door properly due to the drift of dust behind it. Actually, some very clever scientist discovered that you only get a certain thickness of dust before it levels off and doesn't get any deeper, it's only because we move it around that it keeps coming back.
 
yes
 
so you know about it as well then?! it give you something to throw back at us when we tell you, we don't want you to feel completely worthless. (PMT is a secret weapon, we use it to abuse you when there is no better reason)

Vile Jelly

11 August 2004 07:45

How could you be in a position to comment about the size of my chef's knife? You've never seen it.
 
Bet he was a bloke, this boffin. Like I said, logic .....
 
I didn't think wimmin needed any excuse to abuse blokes. I thought that this was a skill imbibed with their mothers' milk and reinforced by years of training in paramilitary organisations like the Guides and WI. Blokes use GMT to tell the time and wimmin use PMT to give the blokes a hard time!

Gill Richards

11 August 2004 13:17

True, but i've read enough about it, you're always talking about how wonderful it is.
 
He'd have to be a bloke - rather than do the dusting he decided to analyse it.
 
we don't, we just understand that logically (!) you want a reason for our obnoxious behaviour, so we blame PMT.

Vile Jelly

11 August 2004 15:20

Dear Gill,
Thank you for saying how wonderful I am. I didn't know I had groupies! Please find enclosed a piccy of me. Sorry I couldn't sign it, I haven't got any hands (and Jelly won't have any fingers soon if it keeps being this busy)! 
mack.jpg (6520 bytes)
 
Yours truly,
 
Mack

Gill Richards

11 August 2004 15:36

Dear Mack
 
Thankyou for your picture, i shall put it up on my wall so i can look at you regularly. Is it of you or one of your many cousins. Actually Mr Jelly wasn't telling you the whole truth, it is he who says you are wonderful, having not seen you i couldn't comment, perhaps you should be careful where he puts his fingers in future.
 
Gill
 
PS I assume knives do not have genders so you don't need to know about the horror that is PMT, suffice to say 'men' make us pick you up and throw you.

Vile Jelly

12 August 2004 09:09

Hm, that's a point (well, a sharp edge to be precise). No sign of Jelly's ichor on me, so it must be one of my relis (probably the fashion model). N E way, I'm not bothered where he puts his fingers. As long as I get something to lop off on a regular basis I'm happy.
 
PS. In that case you should learn to throw us more accurately. Then, soon there won't be any men left to make you pick us up and throw us!

Gill Richards

12 August 2004 13:03

Famous relis, definitely something to boast about. Mind you don't chop off his fingers, you'd have no-one to wield you then.
 
ps i shall start the knife throwing courses immediately, then finally we may be able to get some peace.
 
pps  how are the ems managing with the storms?

Vile Jelly

12 August 2004 14:41

True but then I might get a new owner who knows how to use me properly.
 
PS. Hear, hear. I'm in on the deal just as long as you promise that you 'female-beings' will be able to sharpen us properly afterwards. I have no objection to serving up man kebab but I don't want to spend the rest of eternity with a dull edge going rusty in a toolbox.
 
PPS. Can't comment on the weather personally, for obvious reasons, but VJ says the same thing as us. Who gives an aviating procreation about the weather when you're indoors all the time?

Gill Richards

12 August 2004 15:23

True
 
ps Not a problem i have a proper sharpening tool and i don't keep my knives in a tool box.
 
pps tell him to get out more then. Surely he has to walk to and from work?

Vile Jelly

13 August 2004 09:54

Speed the day.
 
PS. That's OK, then.
 
PPS. No he drivels [sic] to work. It's about a 20 minute walk, so when you add up doing that four times a day plus 8 hours on his feet cheffing you can see how the siren call of the car was impossible to resist.

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