14 August 2004 22:33
Flippin 'eck, VJ
I feel I must break my two year silence and ask, What's Up? Surely it must just
be the August emmet blues. I have friends who live in Mousehole who are
similarly grinding their teeth at the moment. Don't worry, they'll all be gone
soon, or at least will have thinned out a bit. Please continue to dish the dirt
in typically Vile fashion.
I decided to do your "Emmet" test today. I am, as I always suspected,
a died-in-the-wool grockle, BUT ... does it help that I do buy work from, and
support, all the Gaolyard potters? I can't remember all their names (Louise
Thompson springs to mind). Also I have nine pieces of Troika, and can name the
founders of the studio (Benny Sirota and Leslie Illsley).
We always park miles out and walk in, too.
14 August 2004 23:20
Lawks! Hello, stranger, long time no squeak.
Acshually, The Pronouncement is not so much a protest against the monstrous
regiment of emmets as against those who send me e-mus complaining that I have no
right to say what I do about St. Ives, tourists, life in general, etc. Like it
says in the P, I don't work for the Tourist Board or any other related interests
and, therefore, have no obligation to promote picture-postcard views about the
place. There are only so many new features you can do about the place,
especially given the absence of any co-operation from the SI Trust or Museum.
It's not that big a place. Of course, issues tend to be a permanently renewable
energy source and we report what's in the news. Trouble is what's in the news
doesn't often conform with picture-postcard views. I guess the economic
conquistadors don't like it when they are reminded that there is a price being
paid for their ever-expanding portfolio.
PS. What was your actual score/rating? You're the only person who has been
honest enough to admit to taking the em test.
17 August 2004 12:25
My score was Twenty-nine. I scored Twenty-four in section one, and five in
section two. I had to admit to looking up an answer (the date of the disaster).
In my defence I don't know the name of my own mayor either.
17 August 2004 14:57
26 [or 29 even, you blind blimp! - RT] is
a pretty decent score. Doesn't get you a pint of Doom Bar but we might let you
suck on a beermat if you're reasonably polite and well-behaved!
19 August 2004 13:17
Do you think the fact that I mention Island Road in my novel might upgrade me
from a beermat to the slops tray?
19 August 2004 13:33
It would depend upon in what context IR appears. I mean, if it refers to the
hideous, vile, jelly-like creature that once lurked there ..... !
Are we allowed to publicly refer to your nobble or is it still hush-hush? How
far have you got? Have you worked out whodunnit yet? Raymond Chandler allegedly
said that halfway through writing The Big Sleep he still didn't know whodunnit
and I read somewhere that in his original LOTR scribblings Tolkien introduced a
new character, called Strider, in the pub at Bree and noted in the margin 'I
have no idea how he fits into the main story yet'!
19 August 2004 15:46
I've almost finished the nobble (95,000 words written, about 10,000 to go).
It's not a whodunnit but it does have an air of mystery in which St Ives
features greatly. Part of it takes place in the early sixties, the rest in 2000.
The Island Road bit comes in the sixties part, a party is taking place in one of
the houses. The Sloop is mentioned too. I suppose it's OK to refer to it as I'm
being so vague about it. I did enjoy the research though,
tootling about the town, scribbling notes and feeling slightly more important
than your average Emmet.
Interested to hear the Tolkien and Raymond Chandler snippets. I could not write
without knowing the end, although some writers do, I believe. Have you ever
thought about putting pen to paper (or fingers to keys) yourself?
I'd love to write a booklet about stupid things tourists say. In June (in
Mousehole) We heard some corkers:
Tourist: Do we go up the hill to the beach?
Weary cafe owner: Yes, it's at the top.
American Tourist: Where do we buy tickets to the theme park?
Mousehole resident: What theme park?
American Tourist: This place (gestures to Mousehole village)
Mousehole resident (with restraint) This isn't a theme park, it's a village.
American Tourist: You mean people actually live in these houses?
20 August 2004 10:30
How do you know the numbers? Do you get paid by the word is or there some
sort of min/max requirement (like when I did my thesis)?
Judging from the racket the ems are making it would appear that that 60's party
in IR is still going on! N E Way, you still didn't say whether the existence of
the nobble can be promulgated. What's it called, when's it published and when
can the RT get a pre-release copy to review?
20 August 2004 11:14
The computer counts the words for me. A first novel should be round about
90,000 to 100,000 words. Publishers don't like to expend paper (I kid you not)
on unknown writers in case the book doesn't sell. I don't have a publisher yet
but an agent has asked to see it when it's finished. Can I hold out on the title
until I know whether it's going to sell or not?? We writers are secretive
buggers, you know. I guarantee you'll be one of the first to know when I sell
Bummer about the noisy ems. Can't you sneakily cut off their electrical/beer
20 August 2004 14:18
Wait and see if it sells, eh? Does that mean that you will be publishing
under a nom de guerre? In the meantime we shall refer to it as The Good Book if
that's OK with you.
Well, as long as the RT get an exclusive review. The Sonics are looking
forward to reading it ..... as long as they can keep it away from the Shauns who
are looking forward to eating it! [Actually, that's a
myth. It's goats that eat everything. We prefer roast human with mint sauce and
all the trimmings - The Shauns].
As for the ems, I've been severely tempted to cut a few things off. Beer
and/or electricity being the least of them!