Liz Ringrose

14 August 2004 22:33


Flippin 'eck, VJ

Your Pronouncement!

I feel I must break my two year silence and ask, What's Up? Surely it must just be the August emmet blues. I have friends who live in Mousehole who are similarly grinding their teeth at the moment. Don't worry, they'll all be gone soon, or at least will have thinned out a bit. Please continue to dish the dirt in typically Vile fashion.

I decided to do your "Emmet" test today. I am, as I always suspected, a died-in-the-wool grockle, BUT ... does it help that I do buy work from, and support, all the Gaolyard potters? I can't remember all their names (Louise Thompson springs to mind). Also I have nine pieces of Troika, and can name the founders of the studio (Benny Sirota and Leslie Illsley).

We always park miles out and walk in, too.

Vile Jelly

14 August 2004 23:20

Lawks! Hello, stranger, long time no squeak.

Acshually, The Pronouncement is not so much a protest against the monstrous regiment of emmets as against those who send me e-mus complaining that I have no right to say what I do about St. Ives, tourists, life in general, etc. Like it says in the P, I don't work for the Tourist Board or any other related interests and, therefore, have no obligation to promote picture-postcard views about the place. There are only so many new features you can do about the place, especially given the absence of any co-operation from the SI Trust or Museum. It's not that big a place. Of course, issues tend to be a permanently renewable energy source and we report what's in the news. Trouble is what's in the news doesn't often conform with picture-postcard views. I guess the economic conquistadors don't like it when they are reminded that there is a price being paid for their ever-expanding portfolio.

PS. What was your actual score/rating? You're the only person who has been honest enough to admit to taking the em test.

Liz Ringrose

17 August 2004 12:25

Hi There

My score was Twenty-nine. I scored Twenty-four in section one, and five in section two. I had to admit to looking up an answer (the date of the disaster). In my defence I don't know the name of my own mayor either.


Vile Jelly

17 August 2004 14:57

26 [or 29 even, you blind blimp! - RT] is a pretty decent score. Doesn't get you a pint of Doom Bar but we might let you suck on a beermat if you're reasonably polite and well-behaved!

Liz Ringrose

19 August 2004 13:17

Do you think the fact that I mention Island Road in my novel might upgrade me from a beermat to the slops tray?

Vile Jelly

19 August 2004 13:33

It would depend upon in what context IR appears. I mean, if it refers to the hideous, vile, jelly-like creature that once lurked there ..... !

Are we allowed to publicly refer to your nobble or is it still hush-hush? How far have you got? Have you worked out whodunnit yet? Raymond Chandler allegedly said that halfway through writing The Big Sleep he still didn't know whodunnit and I read somewhere that in his original LOTR scribblings Tolkien introduced a new character, called Strider, in the pub at Bree and noted in the margin 'I have no idea how he fits into the main story yet'!

Liz Ringrose

19 August 2004 15:46

I've almost finished the nobble (95,000 words written, about 10,000 to go). It's not a whodunnit but it does have an air of mystery in which St Ives features greatly. Part of it takes place in the early sixties, the rest in 2000. The Island Road bit comes in the sixties part, a party is taking place in one of the houses. The Sloop is mentioned too. I suppose it's OK to refer to it as I'm being so vague about it. I did enjoy the research though,
tootling about the town, scribbling notes and feeling slightly more important than your average Emmet.

Interested to hear the Tolkien and Raymond Chandler snippets. I could not write without knowing the end, although some writers do, I believe. Have you ever thought about putting pen to paper (or fingers to keys) yourself?

I'd love to write a booklet about stupid things tourists say. In June (in Mousehole) We heard some corkers:

Tourist: Do we go up the hill to the beach?
Weary cafe owner: Yes, it's at the top.

American Tourist: Where do we buy tickets to the theme park?
Mousehole resident: What theme park?
American Tourist: This place (gestures to Mousehole village)
Mousehole resident (with restraint) This isn't a theme park, it's a village.
American Tourist: You mean people actually live in these houses?

Vile Jelly

20 August 2004 10:30

How do you know the numbers? Do you get paid by the word is or there some sort of min/max requirement (like when I did my thesis)?

Judging from the racket the ems are making it would appear that that 60's party in IR is still going on! N E Way, you still didn't say whether the existence of the nobble can be promulgated. What's it called, when's it published and when can the RT get a pre-release copy to review?

Liz Ringrose

20 August 2004 11:14

The computer counts the words for me. A first novel should be round about 90,000 to 100,000 words. Publishers don't like to expend paper (I kid you not) on unknown writers in case the book doesn't sell. I don't have a publisher yet but an agent has asked to see it when it's finished. Can I hold out on the title until I know whether it's going to sell or not?? We writers are secretive buggers, you know. I guarantee you'll be one of the first to know when I sell it.

Bummer about the noisy ems. Can't you sneakily cut off their electrical/beer supply?

Vile Jelly

20 August 2004 14:18

Wait and see if it sells, eh? Does that mean that you will be publishing under a nom de guerre? In the meantime we shall refer to it as The Good Book if that's OK with you.

Well, as long as the RT get an exclusive review. The Sonics are looking
forward to reading it ..... as long as they can keep it away from the Shauns who are looking forward to eating it! [Actually, that's a myth. It's goats that eat everything. We prefer roast human with mint sauce and all the trimmings - The Shauns].

As for the ems, I've been severely tempted to cut a few things off. Beer
and/or electricity being the least of them!

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