Helen Bristol

11 September 2004 13:20

Re: Critique

Of all the excuses in the world.............that's the most plausible - VJphobia. Ages since we slooped at the Slurp
 
Lucy had returned safe but she's not saying much about the ordeal, certainly doesn't like being in enclosed spaces and completely freaks when she sees the log basket. 
 
Re Gill's emus: I remember the video where they walked through a "mirror" does that mean my pricetag is showing as well? 

Vile Jelly

12 September 2004 10:39

I think it's just an excuse. I also suffer from VJphobia and don't spend all my time in pubs .....
 
Anyway. Good to see that Lu made it back from wherever she went. Can understand the claustrophobia bit (I'm the same with heights) but what's all this about log baskets? Does she fear the baskets or the logs that lurk within. And, in either case, why? I would have thought that down in the bayou she'd be more concerned about the East Angularian Cajun fishermen on the look-out for volunteers for their jambalaya, crawfish pie, etc.
 
Not necessarily. Now, thanks to the advent of satellite TV you can claim that you only know that because you saw the video on VH2 the other week. On the udder hand if your price tag says 7/- 6d ... 

Helen Bristol

12 September 2004 15:37

I assume any baskety thing reminds her of  (sssssh only whipser the words) lobster pots
 
EA hasn't got that cosmopolitan yet though I'm sure the incomers who are downsizing from the metrolops will soon change all that.  I did hear we now have a wine bar or two somewhere in Norfolk. 
 
Is that 7/- or a poor attempt at 7/6d.........didn't they teach you nuffin at skool? Did once but tyhe value of newly new goods has dropped - have to wait a bit longer 'til I'm an antique!
 Of course, I only know about "old" money (doubloons, groats, guineas, half a crowns)  from watching olds films on the digi channels.

Vile Jelly

13 September 2004 10:01

I would have thought baskets going ssssssssh would remind her more of Orm. Nothing he likes better than lurking in laundry baskets and doing tricks with Indian fakirs. "Don't worry, I'm not poisonous," he cheerfully announces as he wraps himself around the spoiled brat who has to rush up and try to poke everything!
 
Ooh er. Does that mean that your Thresher now has competition for your custom? It's alright for Le Grand Ecosse, he's got Mr. Chimbley (and, no doubt, many other hedge wizards brewing potions). I don't remember seeing much about the vineyards of East Angular. Hell, even Cornshire has it's own vineyards (whereas St. Ives has its Vile-yards) these days.
 
I don't know. I can remember Decimation coming in (they beat it into us at skool) but don't really recall the previous currantsy. I suppose at the age of 6 it was more of a behind the bikesheds barter economy than cash in hand.

Helen Bristol

13 September 2004 18:55

Best thing that could happen, put it out of its misery if it's already past its sell-by date.
 
What! Not heard of East Angularian vineyards?  Where have you been?  There's Chilford Hall (personal friend of the vintner), Shawsgate Vineyard, Gifford Hall, Wyken Vineyard, Tas Valley Vineyard, Ickworth Vineyard to name but a few.  No, that was unfair.  Of course you haven't heard of them.  We keep the best things for ourselves.  No onelse would appreciate them.
 
Even my sprogs, much your juniors, do simultanious translation when they are talking to me. They know there's not much point in telling me something is 2 cm too big.  I have, however, just about got the hang of the Euro.

Vile Jelly

14 September 2004 09:56

Eh quoi? Are you referring to Orm? He's not past his sell-by date (he's swedish and their stuff lasts forever - abba, volvos, winter, etc) and I would never put a cuddly peep down, no matter how badly injured it is. Fortunately most of the RT are tuff enuff to take care of themselves. Have you seen Flat Eric's new ad for Auto Trader where he duffs up that bloke trying to get into his car? He says no flat people were injured in the making of that commercial ..... several humans were though. Bwahahahaha!
 
How can you grow grapes in the bayous? I'd have thought with all that water sloshing around they'd just turn straight into prunes. Or do you have some secret East Anglican hydroponics technique. Anyway, I suppose this must explain all your days off from the Elf Service ..... so many vineyards, so many wine-tastings, so little time off!
 
I can do the little distances OK but can never get my head round things like KPH or litres. (Although I suspect that my failing to grasp the concept of the latter is entirely due to the goverment and the oil companies using mind-control techniques to prevent me working out the real cost of petrol). Have no problems with the Euro down here as the indigenous Cornese have to operate a pure barter economy.

Helen Bristol

14 September 2004 18:14

No, no, no, not Orm ( I wouldn't risk offending him with his penchant for big hugs)  I was talking about the spoiled brat.
 
The vineyard-y bits are in the desert EA.  The bayous are further west.  So science wasn't a strong subject either?  I was under the impression 9Correct me if I'm wrong) that prunification happened because of too little water/too much sunshine.  Don't explain a thing.  Do it all in one fell (fallen) swoop at the agricultural expos.

Vile Jelly

16 September 2004 10:42

Hell, I don't know. I'm not a whoreticulcherist. All I know is that when I spend too much time in water I start going prune-like (well, OK, more prune-like). The wine-tasting frenzies at the agricultural expeditions probably explains your annoyance with the air force. If you weren't lying on your back staring up at the sky all the time you wouldn't notice them so much!

Helen Bristol

16 September 2004 17:59

Cast ye not nasty-turliums.  I have NEVER ended up on my back, at least not the worse for drink.  More along the lines of a waste of money and too noisy.

Vile Jelly

17 September 2004 10:01

How about on your face? I managed that a few times, especially in my wild student youth.
 
Couldn't you persuade the local council or Tony's lackeys to build a load of motorways near you to drown out the noise from the hairyplanes? Or you could buy our windmills off us; excellent obstacles to low-flying aircraft, handy markers for people lost at sea, just bugger all use for generating leccy!

Helen Bristol

17 September 2004 10:57

Nope.
 
What's the point?  It wouldn't go anywhere.  Ennyway, it's noisy enough some nights with the local yoof using the main road through town and the bypass as a racetrack.  One boy-racer managed to flip "his" (the jury's still out on the ownership of sed vehicle) car onto its roof a few yards ( sorry, metres) up t'road.  We got our own wind turbines 'though not as many as you have. Give 'em a chance. B all leccy must be preferable to the risk of the nooclear powerstation getting flooded 'cos of coastal erosion.
 
Off now on a skool re-union - not as awful as it sounds. Just my gang from skool and their significant others having a gourmet ( or possibly gourmand) weekend. No doubt we'll be regaled about the rectitude of the unspeakable chasing the uneatable, and how "my lot" (??) are against it.  Amazing how interesting the autumn fashions can become.

Vile Jelly

17 September 2004 11:54

Lawks! Have you got hollow legs or have you somehow managed to restrain your consumption below the point where it makes much more sense to rotate your body/ground interface through 90 degrees?
 
Since when have major civil engineering projects needed a point? Perhaps the local yoof was trying to tilt at the windmills! There's nowt wrong with radioactive power stations, they just keep building them in the wrong places. If, as they say, they are perfectly safe then it would make sense to put them where the demand and the skill-sets are ..... middle of every major conurbation. I don't have a problem with that. We can have 100ft tall windmills outside our back doors and the city slickers can have 100ft mushroom clouds!
 
Will the old skool reunion feature an old skool dinner? Yummy! Actually, banning fox-hunting with hounds already seems to be having a positive effect. I can think of at least two cases in the news of persons who have been shot dead by their fellow fox-hunters while 'lamping'.

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