22 November 2004 16:03
God no, i'm not an ambulance chaser.
I know you were, but i wasn't, so it makes no sense, a bit like us (apparently,
i've just read the emails)
Could you do that? Does your mouth go wide enough? (the joke about the wide
mouthed frog comes to mind) she picked some nice flats to buy in Bristol
22 November 2004 22:56
No, it works better if you stand in front of the ambulance and then sue their
arses off when it hits you.
That's not for another 996 years.
You have? That's more than most ever do. Try reading some more and see if they
can make even less sense.
Well, the omnivorous letter-box mouth could explain why so much mail goes
missing. If you know where the flats are I'm surprised that the enterprising
among you haven't torched them. Whatever happened to the '81 St Paul rioters,
eh? Probably all bloated gnu labour supporting homeowners now.
23 November 2004 10:45
Yes, but then the NHS would have even less money than it currently does and
won't be able to give me my replacement knees when i need them. If that happens
of course, i won't be able to run out of the way of an ambulance and i would be
able to sue them again!
I couldn't possibly read them twice, i'd be even more confused than i already
Wouldn't do that, she'd only claim off the insurance. Well assuming the average
age of the rioters was 20, they'd be 43 by now, so you're probably right. They
have all calmed down and want us to believe we can walk around there now, not on
23 November 2004 15:44
So? Sue them for enough to pay for de-luxe bionic knees done privately and
still have plenty left for luxury villas around the world.
I was thinking of burning them down while she's in them. It's for the benefit of
the kids, y'see.
25 November 2004 15:04
Actually the way my day is going i might need the money to keep me in a
mental institute. One of my favourite sayings is: "A lack of foresight on
your part does not constitute an emergency on mine". However it seems not
to ring true in this place, i am the one running around trying to get things
done on time before it all falls over, or i do.
good plan, that'll stop her grinning inanely.
i see Bush has stuck his oar in again....
25 November 2004 16:37
Welcome to Miseryville ..... and do you know who's to blame? It's, as Gerry 'Schreibtischtater'
Adams would say, all the bloody protestants' fault. If it wasn't for their work
ethic we could be spineless, self-serving, freeloading,
anything-for-a-quiet-life-at-other-people's-expense parasites like the french.
And everybody thinks the french are cool! What lesson does that teach us about
the importance of working hard, doing your best, making sacrifices, etc?
That's actually when she's doing her non-wide-mouthed-frog impression. She has
stopped grinning inanely because when she does, Eurostar propel their trains in
the wrong direction.
What/who into? I don't pay any attention to the news these days, it has nothing
to do with me. Have you ever read the Narnia books? Despite my better
intentions, the stories don't really hang together without the christian-nutter
backdrop. The books end with The Last Battle. Which is lost (in the herenow as
opposed, natch, to the hereafter). Point? The americans have re-elected George W
(the 'w' is silent and the whole word is pronounced fuckwit) Bush. So, in my
book, if an imbecile stands for president once, shame on him. If that imbecile
gets re-elected, shame on you. Now, they are talking about repealing the 'born
in the usa' law so that Arsehole Shwarzenegger can be the next prez!
What? Arnie (married into the KENNEDY family)! Surely not, after all Dubya has
to stand down after this one (unless they break this law too*) ..... but his
brother Jeb BUSH (brother of Dubya BUSH, son of ex-prez George the First BUSH)
can take over. Or, hell, the cuntry [sic] could switch allegiance to the
democrats and elect ..... Hilarious CLINTON.
And they have the cheek to accuse the UK of being a monarchy!
* Historical irony. The law was introduced after Frankie Roosevelt popped his
clogs in 1945 during his fourth term as El Prez. Now no one can now be prez for
more than two terms. The irony being that, in that case, in 1940 the USA would
have had a different bloke in charge other than FDR.**]
** Which may well have resulted in A. Hitler [Representing Germany; Interests;
Uniforms, Marches & Genocide; Would Like To; Work with the poor, Travel the
world, Conquer it ..... may struggle in the swimwear section] taking the gold
medal in the WW2 olympics.