Liz Ringrose

17 July 2002 23:17

Racket Balls

Hello Team [Hi, Liz]

I've read some priceless letters in the Cornishman in my time (even had one published), but I think Cyril Gascoyne should be awarded some kind of prize.

I refer to his condemnation of "the noisy helicopters" flying between Penzance and the Scillies. Now why do I suspect that perhaps Cyril isn't a native Cornishman? Sounds like the sort of bloke who moves into an area and wants to change everything. [When Jelly was on the Isle of Man the Manx used to call them "wheni's", as in 'when I was in London we had this, when I was in Birmingham we did it that way'. To which the traditional response (in Manx or English depending on personal preferences) was "Well, you can have it all just how you want it when you get back on the boat and bugger off back where you came from!"]

"Stressful" and "plainly heard indoors" are two of the ways he describes the sound of "these machines." How stressful does he imagine life would be for the islanders if the sick-bucket formerly known as the Scillonian [Still is. Called the Scillonian (part III), that is. The sick-bucket theory would be hard to prove as (worst luck) Vile Jelly is a good sailor]. [You had to be, the Isle of Man Steam Pirates would sail in almost any weather. Force 9 was the worst I experienced - VJ] was their only mode of escape. "Why is a helicopter allowed to get away with it?" is another gem, inferring that the chopper sets out with malice aforethought. Cyril suggests they fly at higher altitudes until this "unacceptable racket" can be sorted. Perhaps he'd like them to fly out into the channel from Penzance and do a wide sweep round to the islands, that way they'd only be bothering those annoying fishermen whose chugging little boats irritate the life out of everyone, and those noisy dolphins.

Cyril, move to Budleigh Salterton!

Liz Ringrose.

Reporting Team

19 July 2002 10:43

Actually, with a name like Gascoyne he quite possibly is Cornese (there is a bit of a Breton influence from the days of old when the local fishermen used to trade with the Bretons in mid-Channel for certain ... ahem, duty-free items!).

Also, the fact that he clearly hasn't managed to come to terms with the 20th, let alone the 21st, century is a bit of a give away.

Still, as Bertie Bassett used to say, it takes allsorts to make the world (and where we would get our material from if the place was populated by intelligent, reasonable people?)!

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