5 July 2002


Sweet Liberty!

Yesterday saw the usual annual celebrations of Britain's victory in the War Of Independence. Over two hundred years have passed but still the people pause to remember that triumphant moment when we were finally able to get the Americans off our back! [The importance of this is only emphasised by our subsequent suffering at the hands of Australians who keep demonstrating their new national cultural identity by invading Britain in large numbers].

Since, Britain's victory at Yorktown, when Lord Cornwallis finally managed to shake George Washington & co. off and get home for a much needed cuppa, the two countries have undergone many changes. Now, Britain is a veritable model of democracy with the monarchy having been reduced to a harmless panto show under President Blair, while America has been reduced to a feudal kingdom dominated by two warring families vying to get their kinsmen into the positions of power. We wait with fascinated horror to see whether the House of Bush or the House of Kennedy will win this American version of the War of the Roses!

Well Done, O Good And Faithful Serpent

Much to the delight of Orm (and the schadenfreude crowd), a five foot Californian King Snake is on the loose in Penzance. Eddie (the snake) gave his owners the slip (well, what would you expect from a snake!) when they were taking him for a walk (slither?) last Sunday evening.

The Reporting Team are currently out and about trying to hamper any attempts to re-capture Eddie!

Middle Ages Spread?

A new restaurant is opening in St. Ives on July 12. (Actually a new restaurant seems to be opening in St. Ives every other day. Pity none of them can find any staff, maybe they'll all operate a 'bring your own bottle and cook your own meal' policy!).

As such this would be of no interest to Spooky St. Ives but this restaurant is attempting to drag St. Ives' cuisine screaming into the Middle Ages. The incredibly naffly-named Merlin's Medieval Eating Place will be offering traditional food and mead served by medievally dressed waiting staff.

A spokesman for the St Ives Town Council development committee said that they were not overly keen on the idea so soon after they had only just ratified a by-law permitting the use of the new-fangled technology of fire and the wheel!

Meningitis Death

The funeral took place yesterday of 19 month old Olivia Wagstaff who died from suspected meningitis last week. Already the accusations and allegations are flying thick and fast to the point where trying to report the story in any coherent way is almost impossible.

However, as off going to press, there have been no other reported incidents of suspected meningitis among the other toddlers in Olivia's playgroup or elsewhere.

We will update the story if relevant but this one looks like it is going to get ugly.

Buddy, Can You Spare A Home?

Local action group CASH (Community Action for St. Ives Housing [Actually the acronym for that should be CASIH!]) staged a protest outside the Guildhall last Saturday to highlight the problem of local people who can not afford to buy a house in the town in which they live.

As mentioned in a previous bulletin, the soaring house inflation caused by people from outside the area buying up properties for  investment/development/second, third, fourth, etc. purposes means that the people who work for (usually very low) wages in St. Ives can't afford to live in their own town.

The problem of lack of even vaguely sensibly priced accommodation in St. Ives is leading to shortages of workers to service the very people who are driving them out. If anyone knows of a pub/restaurant in St. Ives that isn't desperately looking for additional staff please let us know as that really would be big news down here!

In the meantime, if you should feel any symphony for the cause of local bods you can e-mail CASH at cashgroup2002@yahoo.co.uk.

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