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Vile Jelly 15 February 2004 17:33
Well, if it's any constipation to you, life down here is a bowl of dog turds
at the mo. This morning my sister (currently visiting with sprogs) decided to
go AOT and badly chinned herself. The Edward Hain was shut (natch) so it was
off to West Cornwall. Eight stitches and over 4 hours in casualty later .....
So much for a quiet Sunday. I don't know about a cup of cheer but you are more
than welcome to metaphorically join me in the bucket of suds I am quaffing as
I type to soothe my ruffled whatsits.
Wassail! (or however you spell it).
Helen Bristol 16 February 2004 18:04 Re: been away
Thanks but I'd rather not have constipation if its all the same to you.
Twas early this morning when I read your emu. It took me a while to work
out AOT but even in my usual dopey early morning state I got there. I
bet she's a tad sore at the moment. Still she's got her ever-loving
brother to keep the sprogs occupied! and ply her with soothing balms.
Don't like to mix my drinks but I was on el vino last night, but thanks for
the thought. It must have been a mighty big bucket if the 2 of us would
fit into it! Have you calmed down now? Or will you have to take some
more calming medicine tonight?
I never received the last emu you sent that you promulgated. For some
reason best known to BM his 'puter picked up the email (we're networked you
know) while I was away and he forward it to my 'puter, deleted it from his and
when I got back there were 3 emus from him on mine as he'd been testing
something-or-other. He said he'd finished with them so I cast them into the
recycle bin, kapput, gone And there was me thinking it very strange that you
hadn't replied.
Vile Jelly 17 February 2004 08:46
She looks like Jimmy Hill at the mo. Had a night of torment and anguish with
the sprogs last night. Why on earth is child abuse illegal? It ought to be
compulsory. Much more soothing medicine was required after we finally got them
sellotaped into bed!
Well, if you will share your computer with disreputable types ..... Do you get
all his dodgy porno e-mails sometimes?
Helen Bristol 17 February 2004 18:43
Was the soothing medicine for you or the sprogs after the trauma of being
confined to bed? How old are they?
No, I told you we don't seem to get any spam, there's a little imp
inside the computer who collects them all and hoards them, probably the one
who's responsible for the My Doom virus. Anyway, I don't share my 'puter only
the network, at least I think that was the deal but as it was supplied by his
company I'd better not stir up too much trouble. Mind you, I had to sleep with
the boss to get it!!
Well, what a day. Part of the hospital was broken into last night and
some of my treatment equipment nicked. The young PC (they ALL look young
these days) is hopeful I'll get it back - I'd rather it was not recovered,
then I can get an upgrade.
Swimming tonight. Virtually had the pool to one's self.
Vile Jelly 17 February 2004 18:51
Oh, strictly for me. It required an awful lot of sellotape and once you've
bitten into 60 gazillion strips of sticky tape you need an awful lot of
solvent to get that taste out of your mouth.
There's virtually nothing worse than having your equipment nicked, other than
having your equipment constricted which is extremely eye-watering I can assure
you. How come the filth thought you'd get your gear back? If they're anything
like the filth down here then the only chance of your swollen goods being
recovered would be if they can persuade their relatives to flog it back
to you.
PS. I told you that Great White Shark swimsuit would clear the place!
Helen Bristol 18 February 2004 18:12
What? Do you mean to tell me you haven't one of those dispenser thingys with a
ziggy-zaggy cutting edge?
But, oh, the relief when the constriction is eased!! Well, its like
this... no, BM wants to tell you all about it. I'll just say that in
order to reach my computer he/they had to walk past 2 much more up-to-date
computers, a hi-fi and a big TV. NFL.
PS Don't need no Great White Shark suit - a beswim-suited Great White Helling
is enough to scare the hardiest of men.
Vile Jelly 19 February 2004 09:20
How many times do I have to tell you ..... it's the third world down here. Of
course we don't have ziggy-zaggy sellotape dispensers. Nor do we have access
to blutac, so we have to use bogies!
NFL? What has american football got to do with tea-leaves filching your beige
beast?
PS. Any truth in the rumour they broke in via that brand new fire escape that
had only just been installed by some suspicious character whiffing slightly of
real ale?
Helen Bristol 19 February 2004 18:58
Make the most of it before the EU gets obese. Apparently you will lose
your third world status and all those squillions in grants and aid when even
more countries come under the All New EU umbrella. They have more need
of help than Cornshire.
Oh yukky. I won't be removing any pictures off your walls then.
NFL has niet to do with that damned yankee game. Its the terribly un-PC
'normal for Lowestoft', which I haven't said as such biased terminology is
slapped wrist or worse time.
PS No, ashley they climbed the walls using some IT trunking that BM &co
installed some years ago in one of his former lives and this was the first
time it had ever been used. The said equipment could really do with a
pricey up-grade so this is a golden opportunity if only plod lives up to its
usual crime detection rate. Talk about bolting the stable door...... all the
windows now have locks.
PPS Hope sibling Kelly is on the road to recovery. Nasty experience
............... having to go to the West Cornwall
Vile Jelly 20 February 2004 09:26
I'm sure we can rely on Toe and Cherry to defend us from invading hordes.
They're experts at defending the country from threatening pieces of paper that
form themselves into dossiers of mass destruction.
But surely you can use NFL now as it can't be un-PC because they've now got a
PC .... yours.
PS. So, they clambered up BM's trunk, eh? I'm sure there's got to be a joke in
there somewhere but I am still besprogged and have lost my usual 'joie de
mourir'. Still, yet another argument for upgrading to wireless technology!
PPS. Especially as it involved being incarcerated with Penzance trolls for
hours on end.
Helen Bristol 20 February 2004 17:39
Just get Cherry to gurn at them.
Well, no they haven't - plod's got it now - damn- and I've got to go and
identify it. s'pose I could deny its mine. Or at least claim its
irrepairably damaged.
PS welcome to the real world - and you thought the RT were hard work.
something to do with scotsmen and kilts ....
Vile Jelly 21 February 2004 09:22 No, I thought the RT would be a lot less work than sprogs. That's why I adopted them! |
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