Green And Bear It! - E-mail correspondence with Spooky St. Ives

Andrew Macdonald

04 November 2002 13:08

Sporting Brassica FC

This came to me during a brief downpour. Nothing at all to do with St Hia, and I know that technically they aren't all brassicas, Lollo Rossa being a lettuce, for example, but a hell of a line up nonetheless.

Seaman

Romanesco Cavolo Nero Roodnerf Lollo Rossa

Beckham Dolmic Radiccio Kasumi

Oliver Hispi

Subs: Pak Choi, Bok Choi

Vile Jelly

05 November 2002 09:08

Hm, maybe. But somehow I just can't see the fans (especially the younger ones) getting behind the team with chants of 'Come on you greens'!

Also, they'd live in dread of being drawn away in the 3rd round of the FA Cup against some unknown team of herbivores from the lower divisions.

Mind you, as England are currently being managed by a Swede (having also been previously managed by a turnip) it does show that vegetables can succeed in English football.

Andrew Macdonald

08 November 2002 18:02

You're absolutely right. Time for a drink.

Vile Jelly

09 November 2002 10:03

What you mean you haven't started yet!

Actually, I haven't either but that's because I've been struck down with some hideous gut virus the consequences of which are best left unmentioned.

PS. Dragged myself out of bed and limped down briefly (honest, that's how ill I've felt) to the Meat Draw late last night because Trevor had a friend from America over who wanted (allegedly) to meet the perpetrator of Spooky St. Ives. God knows what she made of it all as I was absolutely shot, physically and mentally. She probably thought I was the traditional village cripple/idiot! (Not that she'd be particularly wrong in that assumption).

PPS. Trevor is gnashing his hair and pulling his teeth in frustration as he seems to be the only one of the locals 'gang' that can't win anything in the Meat Draw. The poor man. Maybe you should send him a Red Cross Emergency Relief Parcel. Or some brassicas!

Andrew Macdonald

09 November 2002 15:08

Ah! So you've been to the Useless Chef!

Will arrange airlift of sprouts for Trevor forthwith.

As I walked down to the bakers this morning, a little old boy in his white Escort drove past with his poppy strapped to the aerial, and a hand written sign on a bit of A4 paper stuck in the rear passenger window. I thought it was going to say "For Sale Good runner long MOT and Tax £800.00 ono" or some such, but it didn't. It said "Come back, Guy Fawkes, all is forgiven" And I thought to myself, he's got a point there.

Vile Jelly

09 November 2002 15:33

Personally, I subscribe to the 1066 And All That theory that the reason we celebrate Guy Fawkes night is to remind parliament that it would have been a Good Thing if he'd succeeded.

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