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Helen Bristol 02 December 2002 16:40 Message for the Reporting Team.
Hi Gang,
Don't suppose HE told you thank we were in St. Ives last week? We
didn't win the trip to Linkingsheer nor the yeers supply of Broccley.
Still better luck next visit. I'm off to the flat lands again next
weekend on filial duty. Pity we missed you at the AS party.
We had a great few days, now back to the almost uncontrollably thrilling
undercoatin'n'glossin' Real work beckons tomorrow, hopefully a peaceful
"office day"
Tell Vile Jelly it was good to see him again
Helling
Reporting Team 02 December 2002 21:39
Helo Helling
Acshually, VJ did mention your advent and we went
down to the Slupe to prepare a proper welcum for you. Unforchewnately, we also
discovered that Doom Bar was only £1 a pint. The Shauns succumbed to a
surfeit of gud beer and we had to stretcher them home befour you arrived. When
they sobered up they were extremely sheepish about the hole incident (altho we
suppose that mite be only nachural for them)!
Ennyway, VJ gave us all the gory details. We
particularly enjoyed the tail of Androo's 'bargain' from the Sharp's Brewery.
Onlie he could have gone all that way to buy beer at almost 50% more than it
cost at the Slupe!
Jelly sed it was gud to see you too, especially as
your amusing anecdotes and observations took his mind off how many bits of
himself he had managed to lop off recently. Honestly, you'd think that chef
school would at least teach them how to use them before issuing them with
insanely sharp knives.
Gud luk going back to the real world. It seems a bit
strange to us.
Helen Bristol 03 December 2002 17:55
Bit strange to me too.
Honestly, that's just typical. VJ didn't mention that you would be there
at the Sloop. We were kicking our heels at Trevor and Janet's for ages
before we wandered down for a drink. Actually, Janet insisted that we
watched the St. Ives Video, which we dutifully did.
The over-priced Doom Bar is going down a treat. At this rate he'll need
more before Christmas. Still with Ryan Air flights to Newquay an amazing
£10 single it would be cheaper to fly rather than drive down. Quicker too no
doubt, well almost.
What bits has he lopped off?
Helling
Reporting Team 03 December 2002 18:15
Oh, he's just eustace, we mean eweless, or should
that be u-bend. Bah! We just can't get the hang of humanspeak. If he'd said
you were being brainwashed by the St. Ives video-nasty we would have hoofed
down the door and whisked you away while Orm constricted Janet's attempts to
prevent your departure. (Actually Orm quite fancies lodging in Trevor's lounge
with all its tropical flora and furnishings).
We hope Androo is letting you have an occasional swig
from his barrel of Doom Bar. At least we know where he gets his
"brassica-obsessed" inspiration from now! VJ often staggers bak from
the Slupe late at night muttering darkly about broccly-related disasters in
the kitching. Doom Bar must have that effect on peeple.
As for bits lopped off, let's just say he now needs
to use his feet to count to ten and he is no longer in danger of being asked
to audition for a local production of The Full Monty!
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