Sheep At Twice The Price

Helen Bristol

02 December 2002 16:40

Message for the Reporting Team.

Hi Gang,
Don't suppose HE told you thank we were in St. Ives last week? We didn't win the trip to Linkingsheer nor the yeers supply of Broccley.  Still better luck next visit.  I'm off to the flat lands again next weekend on filial duty. Pity we missed you at the AS party.
We had a great few days, now back to the almost uncontrollably thrilling undercoatin'n'glossin'  Real work beckons tomorrow, hopefully a peaceful "office day"
Tell Vile Jelly it was good to see him again

Reporting Team

02 December 2002 21:39

Helo Helling
Acshually, VJ did mention your advent and we went down to the Slupe to prepare a proper welcum for you. Unforchewnately, we also discovered that Doom Bar was only £1 a pint. The Shauns succumbed to a surfeit of gud beer and we had to stretcher them home befour you arrived. When they sobered up they were extremely sheepish about the hole incident (altho we suppose that mite be only nachural for them)!
Ennyway, VJ gave us all the gory details. We particularly enjoyed the tail of Androo's 'bargain' from the Sharp's Brewery. Onlie he could have gone all that way to buy beer at almost 50% more than it cost at the Slupe!
Jelly sed it was gud to see you too, especially as your amusing anecdotes and observations took his mind off how many bits of himself he had managed to lop off recently. Honestly, you'd think that chef school would at least teach them how to use them before issuing them with insanely sharp knives.
Gud luk going back to the real world. It seems a bit strange to us.

Helen Bristol

03 December 2002 17:55

Bit strange to me too.
Honestly, that's just typical.  VJ didn't mention that you would be there at the Sloop.  We were kicking our heels at Trevor and Janet's for ages before we wandered down for a drink.  Actually, Janet insisted that we watched the St. Ives Video, which we dutifully did.
The over-priced Doom Bar is going down a treat.  At this rate he'll need more before Christmas.  Still with Ryan Air flights to Newquay an amazing £10 single it would be cheaper to fly rather than drive down. Quicker too no doubt, well almost. 
What bits has he lopped off?

Reporting Team

03 December 2002 18:15

Oh, he's just eustace, we mean eweless, or should that be u-bend. Bah! We just can't get the hang of humanspeak. If he'd said you were being brainwashed by the St. Ives video-nasty we would have hoofed down the door and whisked you away while Orm constricted Janet's attempts to prevent your departure. (Actually Orm quite fancies lodging in Trevor's lounge with all its tropical flora and furnishings).
We hope Androo is letting you have an occasional swig from his barrel of Doom Bar. At least we know where he gets his "brassica-obsessed" inspiration from now! VJ often staggers bak from the Slupe late at night muttering darkly about broccly-related disasters in the kitching. Doom Bar must have that effect on peeple.
As for bits lopped off, let's just say he now needs to use his feet to count to ten and he is no longer in danger of being asked to audition for a local production of The Full Monty!

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