Helen Bristol [Continued from An Unforeseen Development?]
08 February 2003 17:13
The only "great" thing about anything American is we are separated from it by a vast expanse of water.
Helling and stealth in the same sentence? Nah, not really.
Talking of thatched cottages - went shopping for a bird table for a colleague who is retiring (lucky so and so), choice was a bit limited. Many are rather twee designs with thatched roofs. Should imagine that will soon be removed for nesting material.
Anyone had any luck in the meat draw?
08 February 2003 22:07
The "great" referred to the dictum not the American (Football). Still, think it's a great mental image and would love to see someone try it in a real game!
Don't think anyone was at the Meat Draw last night. I was in the slave pits and T&J were at some bash at the Tat.
09 February 2003 14:38
Can't say I've ever watched American football. The closest I've been was the 7s at Twickers.
Must have been an exciting draw!! or do you mean anyone who is anyone?
I think I'll send this now. I've sat here for ages staring out at the soggy factory site, totally uninspired. El Macho Catto has the right idea, he's fast asleep on the bed, paw over his eyes in the I-can't-see-you-so-you-can't-see-me pose.
09 February 2003 15:46
Always the best position to assume, especially if attacked by the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal!
I could give you a semi-rational explanation as to why the Sloop Meat Draw seems to have gone down the pan but I'd just get accused of 'tourist-slagging' (and probably lose my job).
It's a messy issue. Next time you're down I'll try to explain my understanding of it (assuming I can prise you and The Soup Dragon away from the B&B*).
In the meantime, Kustid says to CM, 'Get off your fat cat ass, there's humans out there to be exploited'.
*Booze 'n' Blokes.
09 February 2003 17:29
Would that I could curl up in that feline way. Anyway I haven't got the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (so this is where you realise that all that symphony was wasted.) I was literally flat on my back which is why I'm so fed up, pain, pins and needles, numb bum, the works. So much to do and no way to do it.
I think Soupie and I could give the B&B a rest for just enough time for your explanation. (Just have to check with her first, though) It will be nice to have met her at last. Good to put faces to names. Surely the Emmets are the only messy things in St. Ives, apart from the seagulls, Transco and the Tat that is. How could anyone ever accuse you, of all people, of slagging off tourists? Heaven forfend.
Told CM what K said and can't repeat the reply but loosely translated is "What I don't know about exploiting humans could be written on your one brain cell" (Sorry, but that's as kindly as I can put it) "Exploitation? I invented the word. You can't go around teaching old cats new tricks. Think you're somebody just because you've been on TV. Not that I ever watched it......." I think he would have continued but Big Mac has just taken the suppertime (ours) meat out of the fridge. CM has got hearing honed to pick up the rustle of a bag, and the ting of the Wusthof on the chopping board at 5 Km. So he's shot downstairs at a speed the Sonics would find it hard to match.
PS Have you opened a bank account for K for the royalties from the reshowing of R&K? As his agent I'm sure you can think of something to do with the dosh.
13 February 2003 12:53
Is there anybody there?
13 February 2003 16:40
Yes. Sorry, I got distracted by wurk and skool and didn't realise I hadn't replied to your last e-mu.
Now, what were you saying .....
Ah, yes. It's R&C actually. I know Custard spells his name as Kustid but that is because he is a cat and can't operate the spellchecker on the computer (mainly because he is too busy savaging the mouse).
I am afraid that, like me, his good nature is being exploited and he receives bugger all for his efforts. He does get to laugh cynically at Roobarb, though!
13 February 2003 17:33
So, there you were thinking 'OK what's up? Why hasn't Helling been in touch?' All my fault of course. I was beginning to wonder whether I'd said something that offended you so deeply that you never, ever wanted to speak to me again. Not that I'm paranoid. Only thing was ( or to put it in the local dialect 'the thing of it is') I couldn't see how you could possibly have misinterpreted anything I've ever said.
Tell Custard the CM sneered at the thought of savaging the mouse, he has a green fluffy mouse that, of course, he never plays with. Can't think how it moves up and down the landing.
You poor wee thing. Feeling exploited? Join the club! We do a great line in T-shirts and videos. Who can you larf cynically at?
14 February 2003 17:30
Cynical laughter targets? I can't tell you (in public) ..... I'd get sacked and booted out of St. Ives, methinks.
You've seen the place and met some of the subjects, use your imagination!
PS. Custard says that CM shouldn't be so judgmental based on (my) vague assumptions. If you don't attack the computer mouse how else can you log in to www.fantasykatz.com?
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