When The Saint (Bernard)s Come Marching In


" (St?) Winwaloe"

25 February 2003 10:23

Re: A Blessing on you

I use astral projection, it's even cheaper than easyjet. Mind you its not you I come to keep an eye on but that's another story that I won't be telling!! - yes, know all about the mead, invented by us saintly chaps you know, got into eh habit very quickly although the women were having nun of it. Oh well. Might try a websearch for Cornish wine - should be interesting. How's the weather ? hear you've got some rain on the  way - Don't get wet on the outside - W

Vile Jelly

25 February 2003 14:28

It's bright but winding quite a lot down here. Reasonably warm but the wind is sandblasting the unsuspecting ems who sit in stunned amazement as seagulls swoop off with their gritty pasties!

" (St?) Winwaloe"

26 February 2003 10:04

Just seen the pix posted by your friend Andy McRonald. Not bad although a little out of date, perhaps it was my former self?! Anyway the man from the marshes needn't worry as I won't be turning up at the Wee Small Kirk (to be said with an excruciating Scottish accent) - This chum off yours seems a but of course. Everyone knows that the only place to drink Adnams in Southwold is a the Sole Bay Inn. Mind you not been up
to Southwold for a while so it could have fallen down (The SBI not Southwold) - Actually Adnams can travel well. There used to be a pub in Herts called the Barley Mow run by John, Betty and his delightful daughters and 3, or was it 4 St Bernards (good ecclesiastical connection there) One of the many beers stocked was Adnams and I had a few very good pints there (each day)- Been thinking about this Astral projection idea and worked out that if I can get it to work properly I can be down in West Penwith even quicker than flying into Newquay. May have to work on this. I will announce my arrival by sitting on top of the Lifeboat Station and distributing alcoholic beverages. Perhaps the man with the lantern will add me to his visiting list. Right off to give it a try - may see you very shortly - - Tereba nessa - W

Vile Jelly

26 February 2003 16:17

I must admit I have not travelled into deepest, darkest East Angular and so have not blessed my tonsils with much of the region's beer (other than what I've been able to find at the Beerfest and other venues of that ilk). Perhaps you could produce some at your manifestation down here.

Talking of matters both beerish and religious a friend of my dad's used to be head brewer at Greene King down in Bury Noel Edmonds. As you will no doubt be aware they brew a beverage called Abbot Ale named after the local monkery. Well, he told us that when they launched it they got the actual abbot to attend a sit-down bash and asked him to do a little spiel after the nosh.

At the appointed hour the abbot arose and said 'Gentlemen, [it was THAT sort of a bash] I am afraid that your expertise in the field of brewing far exceeds mine so I have little practical advice to offer on the subject of the new Abbot Ale. However, I would like to share with you this little poem that the monks told me the other day:-

There was a young lady called Alice
Who crapped in the Vatican Palace
The cause of her deed
Was not desperate need
But sheer bloody protestant malice!

" (St?) Winwaloe"

26 February 2003 17:35

Funny that because I have not paid a visitation to East Analgular for some time either. Mind you it is on the proverbial cards. You might be amused to know that the landlord of the Barley Mow mentioned earlier (and of the fondest memory) had an interesting way of clearing the bar on a Friday/Saturday night. The first St Bernard to come in was "mum" named Tara - if you didn't know her you sort of supped up and left. If the bar was not clearing that quickly then ( I think) the "daughter " came in - can't remember her name. If all else failed we then had a visitation form Sultan the "son". Well Tara was great (probably should have been
Tamar or Tamara) and her fav trick was to stick her paws on my shoulders and look over the top of my head. The middle one was OK but even I was never that sure of Sultan - boy did he clear the bar - no not the one over the river the one in the pub! - Now about this girl called Alice, I think I knew her. Can't drink Abbott myself, one teaspoon full and it feels like someone has stuck a jigger staff up the back of my
neck - not pleasant - not sure what is in it but there are dark rumours circulating about these Beast Angularians - - By the way, been looking at this astral projection idea but doesn't seem to fit with the saintly image somehow.  - Perhaps I will stick to dowsing - will re read Hamish M's book - wonder if he knows anything about ap? - Off to touch the pipe or
gunpowder - will communicate tomorrow if you are unlucky - -Rgds W

Vile Jelly

27 February 2003 09:15

Do you consider advisable during your campaign for sainthood to admit that you have spent your time picking up dogs in pubs? Or are you claiming that this is before your pauline conversion?

PS. What is this pipe you keep touching? I hope it's not a frozen pipe
otherwise you'll find you lose a lot of skin when your fingers stick to it!

" (St?) Winwaloe"

27 February 2003 15:48

I used to know a girl called Pauline

Vile Jelly

27 February 2003 17:18

Only one?

" (St?) Winwaloe"

28 February 2003 09:19

Ah my dear but she was a brave one

Vile Jelly

28 February 2003 09:49

What? You mean an American Injun?

Hope she didn't threaten to Sioux you!

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