Saint Appalls Cathedral?


"Ex?-St? Winwaloe"

16 June 2003 10:22

Saintly jottings

A blessing on you all - now a few points. The reason that Adnams does not find its way down to dear old Kernow is quite simply that it is too far for the horses to go before the beer goes off. They did think about using a lorry but there was a problem carrying enough coal and without the steam the lorry wouldn't go forward. Then of course there might be the problem of a hill or two! These German tourists, could they be looking for Fawlty Towers and, as usual, be having problems with the navigation? Or, and more likely, they have heard about the gold bars with eh seagull, mined by you and delivered to Zurich by the reporting team. Not relishing the competition they have decided to come over and pinch the Cornish bars as there own are all in down town Latin America. Well this is my theory. Now, on this property thing we keep (yawn) hearing about. It's probably pretty fair to say that at some time in the distant past all the local property belonged to locals. Then one enterprising local (the Del boy of St I) sold his house to someone from up country, pocketed lots of folding stuff and either a) went to live in Spain or b) spent it all in a dubious pub! Other locals thought this is a good idea and started to do the same, pocketing the money and moving off to Spain and making more room for the incomers. It would be interesting to see if there are two markets viz. incomer to incomer and local to incomer - However, in all cases incomer will be ripped off! - Even I can't afford a pied a cell in West Penwith these days

Vile Jelly

16 June 2003 18:04

Oh dear, and you were doing so well.

We were genuinely rooting for you to pass the tests to become the new Cornish saint and here you are slagging the locals off and complaining that the conquistadors are being ripped off. And we thought you were showing a bit of promise.

Oh well, such is life. Just don't complain if you bleed to death on your next visit to Cornwall because the nearest hospital that has staff to treat your seagull wound is in another county.

"Ex?-St? Winwaloe"

17 June 2003 09:23

Surely you mean Country - Anyone know the Cornish for Seagull?

Vile Jelly

17 June 2003 09:51

No, I leave that particular delusion to the lunatic fringe. Anyway, should you feel the need, while you're down here, to be treated for your life-threatening injury, as of going to press, you need to ask for directions to Plymouth. Non-life-threatening seagull wounds can still be treated in Penzance or Truro, although in the near future Truro may be your only option.

Cornish for seagull is 'thartbuggaswoipedmaparsty' as any fool knows.

Saw another classic pasty-strike yesterday. Emmets and seagull's, eh? Individually of little interest but put them together and much merriment ensues!

"Ex?-St? Winwaloe"

17 June 2003 16:47

A year or two back younger son tripped over white mouse going into Lands End. LE nurse suggested v quick trip to Penzance hospital. Went in (August) expecting HUGE delay - seen and cleared within 15 mins and suitable donation left. Things may have changed but given option twixt local hospital and Penzance (in height of season) PZ gets the vote 100 times over!!!!!!

Vile Jelly

18 June 2003 08:54

That's probably why it's under threat of closure then! Next time you might not have any choice but to go to your local horspiddle.

PS. Are you sure you and your sprog were at Sea's Start and not Mousehole!

"Ex?-St? Winwaloe"

18 June 2003 15:52

Could have been toad-in-the hole - Is it on the menu?

Vile Jelly

18 June 2003 18:15

Oh hell no. I can't remember the last time I went to a noshery on this planet that supplied good traditional stick-to-your-insides food.

I still think you should clarify whether your sprog tripped on the mouse or the hole. And was it really a white mouse and not, possibly, a white rabbit. Oh my paws and whiskers, I'm late.

Byeeeeeeee!

"Ex?-St? Winwaloe"

19 June 2003 10:06

Probably a widdy mouse - re the food stuff. Last time I had luncheon at a  well known pub in St Ives (?!)I noticed a distinct lack of school food. Wondered if the head galley slave has pretencions. However, at a certain supposed posh noshery in StI I was very disappointed. Pretencion triumphed over substance. Thank Paul Aurelia for the pasty!

Vile Jelly

20 June 2003 08:35

Well, to be honest, whenever we are asked if we serve children we usually reply 'Yes but it will take a while to cook them. Do you want them on or off the bone?'

PS. How come you were only disappointed at one posh noshery. Didn't you go to any others to be equally disappointed? Perhaps you should try Mr. Macdonald's krautish cafe in Cardboard Bay next time.

"Ex?-St? Winwaloe"

20 June 2003 08:55

Well yes we tried several differnt places and very much enjoyed the food/wine at all of them with the one exception and that really was an exception! - St Ives is very good for good food - Forget paris go to St Ives!

Vile Jelly

20 June 2003 09:11

Oh, come on, man. Stop beating about the George W. and name names.

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