Give Us A Wave!

Helen Bristol

23 December 2003 18:47

Day Jar Voo

If you're concerned about how we uncovered your lair think laterally ............................... who do we know in common?
And believe or not, in this neck of the outback    name, village, county will get here..................tis well known I am about here.
I'm sure you can deduce the knowledge you seek, after all with the help of the RT you've just written a blockage buster.

Vile Jelly

24 December 2003 10:04

But what makes you think I can even remember which village you live in. I'm sure you wrote it down in one of your electric mails but have you any idea how many of them there are!
Also, T&J have buggered off to an Old Spot in Gloucester for Crimbo so I can't ask them.
Anyway, given the state of the post down here at the mo, you wouldn't even get a card now before the late May Bank Holiday! So, you'll just have to make do with an electronic card for now.
As for restitution for the Chimbleys I believe that plans are already in motion. Has BM given you the road map and the 'wide-awake for a week' pills yet?
Now, that's what I call getting a good lungful of sea air!
tsunami.jpg (45242 bytes)
Crispy Hatmas and Beast Fishes for the Gnu's Beer
The Reporting Team (and old whatshisface)

Helen Bristol

24 December 2003 15:24

One, two, many............I've lost count already.  It will keep you out of mischief over the festive season, after you've cooked the dinner, washed up, tidied the house ans the 101 things that need to be done................oh, I nearly forgot.................and watched Her Maj's speech.
 Maybe.  Obviously BM hasn't told you anything about my navigational skills? like.......
"Haven't we passed that wall before?"
" Yes, but I wanted to look at it again."
I think it would be safer for you as the proto-local to chauffeur us as you'll know the way.  Unless his saintliness could mystically transport us from hostelry to hostelry.
We got wet walking along that bit back in 2001.  Wouldn't do the wine cellar any good....................would ruin the corks and I'd just have to dishposh of the contentsh....................cheersh!
Hope you're all better now and can enjoy the festive thingy.  Happy Crimbo.

Vile Jelly

25 December 2003 09:25

Nyet problemski. I'll be doing the navigating and, as there is only one road in Cornwall the opportunities to take the wrong turn should be limited. The RT say if it's any help they'll work the pedals for you.
I thought Queenie was entertaining the troops this year. Can't see her doing a Jim Davidson, really, but I suppose at her age you've got to take any gigs you can get.
PS. Ironically, that particular stretch is known locally as 'Lambeth Walk', which is obviously a cunning trap to fool emmets into thinking you walk along it. During rough weather it should be called 'Lambeth wait til I say go and then run like buggery'!

Helen Bristol

26 December 2003 11:39

Well, you and the RT seemed to be up bright and early.  The Moule-feste went well.  I've counted the empties but I think I must be seeing double - either that or CM, his mates and young Lucy had a fringe party going on in another part of the mansion. The killers were the 15% Muscat and the LBV port. I have a sneaky feeling that It wasn't the humans who disposed of the contents of  ** bottles.  Both Lucy and CM have been conspicuous by their quietness.
As I was saying, BM obviously hasn't told you about my driving skills, like:
" Helling, in this country we drive on the left"
"I know that but Paulo's* Italian, OK?"
* pet name for my Punto.  OK, so I'm a saddo.
PS the bit I saw of the gig, she got a standing ovation. And didn't she look - - - (I'm lost for the word) standing next to that big tank?

Vile Jelly

26 December 2003 16:13

Yes, I know what it is like to have the few meagre morsels you have set aside for yuletide scoffed and quaffed by rampaging cuddly peeps.
PS. In Cornwallshire driving occasionally on any bit of the road is regarded as Advanced Driving Skills. So, you'll do fine, tell BM to bring you a sleeping bag, though, because it can get quite chilly in some of the pub car parks down here!
PPS. Is that the tank that Ponce-ess Anne's dog bit the head off?
PPS. Can the QE2 have a standing ovulation at her age. I mean, I know there's that HRT stuff but is it really THAT effective?

Helen Bristol

27 December 2003 11:52

Don't talk to me about HRH Ponce-ess Royale's killer hound - anyone else's mut would have been put down after the first misdemeanor.
Witrh regard to HRT: that is older girlie-bloke stuff.  Blokes just benefit from it!  If you're up to it. 
Now, I'm used to not being allowed in pubs in Kelvinside, but I thought Cornshire was a tad more sophisticated and modern.  Where you two go, I go.  Otherwise, who knows what you'd get up to?  Enywey, don't do camping.

Vile Jelly

27 December 2003 13:28

Look on the positive side, just imagine the carnage if the authorities got orders to shoot the bitch. They'd be spoiled for choice!
PS. Catto Machu Pichu is sending menacing e-mus to Shaun. He is so upset he has dressed himself in a green frog suit and decided to retire from the world to become a solitary kermit!

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