Red Hot Poker?

Helen Bristol

06 February 2004 18:00

Re: Help

Funny you should mention the fact-finding mission...  Yeah, we've done the working smarter bit.  Interesting concept that an East Angularian PCT would want to create a job in St. Ives (there I've mentioned it - do I get published?) although I'd be very willing to act as the go-between. You wouldn't mind if I had a second home in St Ives then? Who did you have in mind?
's the weekend and I'm on hols for 4 days next week. I think I might spend some time practising for the Great Pub Crawl. I know our roads aren't quite so interesting as those in Cornshire.

Vile Jelly

06 February 2004 18:46

Well, there you are. Don't you get it? There you are with a pile of swag. You want a second home in St. Ives, I want a nice profitable pen-pushing job .....
I didn't even know you had roads in the EA Bayou. Isn't tarmac laid over a swamp a bit wobbly?

Helen Bristol

07 February 2004 14:56

That's how Hereward the Sleepless kept everyone at bayou.  Mostly we travel round in coracles
You want profitable - best forget the Nashnal Elph Surplus. The pile of swag, as you call it, is only virtual dosh. Not unlike the GDP of UK plc.
No, no, I don't want a second home anywhere.  It's hard enough to keep on top of things in one hut let alone another one miles away.  As you well know, me and housework - well I'd rather not waste my time.  Who in their right mind would double the misery?

Vile Jelly

07 February 2004 15:06

Better than down here, then. We just talk a load of coracles!
But if you invested just 1% of yesterday's expenses budget you could buy half of St. Ivel and employ the Reporting Team to look after and buff up your portfolio of properties. What's more, with the prices for helliday rentals down here you'd be able to replace the missing swag with interest in just a week or so. Then, you could use your snowballing profits to buy the rest of the NHS, give everyone a pay rise, cure everybody and still have change for a luxury yacht before June is out. A no-lose scenario!
PS. You know I would. I'll double your misery and raise you again to intolerable suffering. Now are you going to fold or up the ante?

Helen Bristol

07 February 2004 15:23

Mmm. (you must be feeling confident)
I'll double your intolerable suffering and raise you to a lifetime in purgatory

Vile Jelly

08 February 2004 09:05

No, I'm feeling a velvet Humpty. Besides I don't have to worry about offending the NHS becuase they don't even have a franchise, let alone a branch, down here. So are you tempted? I can start e-mailing you details of properties as soon as you are back at your desk for another bout of number juggling.
I'll match your lifeftime in purgatory and see you in hell ..... What are you holding; I've got a pair of black cards, a parsnip and two slices of stale bread.

Helen Bristol

08 February 2004 15:04

That's odd 'cos the website seems to suggest there are outlets in the area.  'course I'm tempted but it is very windy down there, isn't it?  I only ask 'cos I don't like being blustered almost as much as I don't like being cold.
I play my cards close to my chest - so I can't see what they are!   Ah yes that's better; Mr., Mrs., Master and Miss Bunn the baker's family and the Pilsbury Doughboy.  So my flush beats your 2 pairs.  I'll collect my winnings when I come down to view the properties - they should just about cover the deposits. All I'll need to do then is win the lottery.

Vile Jelly

09 February 2004 13:13

Tsk, tsk. You should know that you shouldn't trust everything (and anything) you see on the internet. I mean, you don't believe a word of SSI, do you? Exactement.
Talking of which, I thought you were on holiday in France or was the shopping trip down the Champs Elysee just a quick there and back in the Learjet?
PS. I would have thought that East Angular suffered from the wind as well. At least Kernowshire is sub-tropical (as opposed to your neck of the woods which just appears to be sub-marine!). SI is certainly full of sub-humans and sub-standard websites!
PPS. Feast Day today (technically the religious nutter bit of it was yesterday). As usual Winwaloe was first with the wrong answer. There he was preening himself over his 'local knowledge' without realising that the long-standing medieval celebration is always the first Sunday after the Superbowl. Better go and catch up with the RT, I believe they started their liquid feast earlier than most!

Helen Bristol

09 February 2004 14:18

It was just a quick shopping trip.  Took the Ferrari on the Shuttle. Mind you with the slow moving traffic on the A12 it would have been quicker in the Lear.  Bite of lunch over there and back in time for a slap-up meat tea.  That was a week ago.  This week and on and off through Feb and March I'm trying to take the rest (or most of the rest) of my ENORMOUS amount of don't-have-to-go-to-work days, before the end of the fiscal year.
PS What happens on St Eia's feast day?  Apart from the liquid indulgence.  Do you all go floating about the harbour on clover leaves chasing piskies?
PPS Did I hear you whisper "Oh b****r" when I revealed my hand?  No?  Must have been the wind in the willows.

Vile Jelly

10 February 2004 09:00

Remember, just because you have the holiday entitlement doesn't mean you have to take it. Alternatively, you could book yourself in for a month in whatever the spinal equivalent of The Priory is and have your back rehabilitated into society.
PS."What happens on St Eia's feast day?"! All I can say to you is !
PPS. I always suspected you were dealing from the bottom of the deck. You shifty administrators are experts at arranging the paperwork for your own advantage! I'd offer an arm-wrestling re-match but you probably sumo me into submission. And as for a battle of wits ..... that will have to be postponed as I only have 50% of the required resources!

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