28 June 2004 16:45

Oh Yeeeee

Benatugana - Tereba nessa - Winwaloe  

Vile Jelly

28 June 2004 22:20

What for? I haven't done anything yet?

Well, obviously I've been doing a few things but nothing springs to mind that would induce gratitude (or longitude).


30 June 2004 08:34

No but it's good to encourage the peasants and surfs now and then as it stops them becoming more than usually revolting!

Now I noticed in a newspaper that Penzance, that fine town not far from you as the chough flys, is contemplating the idea of strippers and pole dancers. Could this present an opportunity for you? Are you any good at decorating, can you get all steamy with a (paper) stripper or are you better with the dry, but rather smelly, paint stripper/blow torch? I feel this could be a great opportunity for a man of your talents. Re the pole dancing. I am not sure how many Poles have got down to the far west but there are plenty around London I believe. It does, of course, make one wonder if you should wear Polish or Cornish traditional dress
and, if the latter, what it would be. The hat and heavy boots of the miner, the jersey and seaboots of the fisher? Both may have their place. The RT could act a your agent as I imagine much of this activity will be carried out in pubs, club and similar establishments. They might, of course, drink the profit!

Vile Jelly

30 June 2004 15:33

Yes, I saw that (but disdained to comment on it). The thing that made me cackle (evilly) was the notion this bloke had that introducing Lapp and Polish Dancing would prevent the town from becoming a dull retirement home. Methinks the cure is worse than the ailment!

Anyway, I doubt whether they would be able to get together enough eastern europeans to make the venture work. Presumably they are too busy snaffling up all the drudgery-but-better-paid jobs in London.

Talking of which I see in today's Daily Torygraph that the evil empire that is the Big Stench now officially extends from Land's End to Grimsby. Does that mean we are all cockney sparrers down here now? I'm sure the dyed-in-the-wool Cornese down here must be distinctly un-choughed to find out that they are just an outer suburb of King Ken's patch. On the udder hand, at least this means that you are now living in the same metropolitan area as your beloved Cornish and (cough, spit!) Devonians.

PS. Have tried working with poles before but despite my best efforts I still couldn't find any humans willing to touch me with a 20ft one!


02 July 2004 17:33

I missed the piece in the Torygraph (my 2nd fav newsheet) but why stop at Grim-sby? Why not go up as far as the Outer Hebrides. I don't like Red Ken, Scotland and the Scots deserve him. He could bring in elongated kilts to block the roads, never make the haggis run on time and bring in mouse mores to annoy. On the other hand he could just stay up there and annoy the locals. I may even buy him a (one way) ticket by Morovian paddle steamer. NB - if I see any suitable Poles I will send them down. Why don't you like Penzance? It's got more ghosts -

Vile Jelly

03 July 2004 09:57

Because it's a dump.

That's not just me, by the way. It's a fairly commonly held view down here and not just due to parochialism. Even quite a few of the people who live there don't like Penzance. With all its history and romantic associations (Sir Humpty Davy, Pirates of P, etc) it ought to be quite a nice little burg but somehow it seems to have become a shithole. The historical bits are rather tatty, the 'shopping' centre of the town could have just been beamed down from any one-horse town in the UK and some of the (council estate type) residential areas are grim as the proverbial reaper. Drugs and crime problems that put the SI skateboarding mafia into proper perspective.

Sad really. I'm sure some PZ-er will leap to its defence and that they are trying to improve the place but I find an awful lot of people's reaction to their first visit to PZ is one of disappointment. I mean, I went to the Admiral Benbow Inn and didn't get passed a single black spot, let alone chased by drunken one-legged/armed/eyed/headed ex-pirates!

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