Helen Bristol

03 September 2004 17:54

Critique

Good-looking is not an expression one would use.................. good looking perhaps.....and a little on the chunky side. 
There is obviously a good brain, intelligence, quick wit, humour and a little wisdom.
An interest in music, literature, history, walking, and good in the kitchen.............and elsewhere possibly.
There is little more that could be added. 
 How else could one describe...............................................oneself?

Vile Jelly

06 September 2004 15:55

Lo Ling STOP
 
The Sonics reporting here:- STOP
 
Have intercepted and investigated your report STOP Appears to confirm our suspicions STOP Could you please clarify following points STOP:-
 
"Good-looking is not an expression one would use" - This would appear to indicate the presence of vileness STOP
"a little on the chunky side" - Could this be explained by a jelly-like blobbiness? STOP
 
Your confirmation of these points could indicate the presence of the creature known only as Vile Jelly STOP Please respond ASAP STOP As if there is a VJ operating in our area then we may be in peril STOP
 
Just the thought of his vileness has unsettled us so we are popping down to the pub for a few beers to soothe our ruffled spikes STOP In fact, we are so worried that once we get a few down we are unlikely to Stop

Helen Bristol

06 September 2004 18:24

Sonics,
Lost in translation - should have read "Good-looking is not an expression one would use ....interesting perhaps" so as not to risk repeating myself. STOP
 
I don't think I have a jelly-like blobbiness.  I'd prefer Reubenesque, sounds...well....nicer, somehow.STOP
 
Fear not, Sonics, re-read the massage. A  VJ isn't named is it?STOP
 
STOP panicking...............but get one in for me.

Vile Jelly

07 September 2004 09:41

Hel Hel STOP
 
It is I, the Shauns STOP I mean we, the Shaun STOP Baaaah we will never get the hang of speaking humanish STOP
 
Ennywahey, we think you have misunderstood the Sonics STOP When they said 'jelly-like blobbiness' they were referring to the subject of your report not you STOP That's what we think but we can't confirm with the blue and spikey boys as they have mysteriously disappeared STOP They went out last night muttering something about needing to restore their nerves and haven't been seen since STOP There have been ugly rumours of a VJ (or possibly rumours of an ugly VJ) lurking in the neighbourhood and we are worried that they might have been hog-napped STOP
 
Send help STOP Or beer STOP We are nervously biting our hoofnails in worry even though Soupie has told us to STOP

Helen Bristol

07 September 2004 19:03

Shaun, Shaun STOP STOP
 
Affirm subject of report not, repeat not, VJ STOP  Re-read (or get Soupie to read to you) original massage STOP 
 
Think VJ promulgated the report under of psuedonym STOP  How unlike him STOP 
 
Lucy bringing supplies STOP  Should arrive Friday pip emma unless she is Stopped
 
Sure Sonics are OK but keep informed STOP
 
Lo Ling

Vile Jelly

07 September 2004 22:15

Oh hell hello Helling STOP
 
It's the Erics here STOP Something must have got lost in translation (inevitably with the Shauns involved) STOP To whom (or what) does the report refer STOP
 
V. concerned STOP The Shauns went out to look for the Sonics STOP Now they have also not returned STOP Rest of the RT now forming expedition to find the S&S STOP Soupie remaining at HQ to co-ordinate our efforts STOP Send any further messages (and G&T) to Soupie STOP
 
Will try to hold on for the Red Cross (aka Lucy when annoyed by Shaun) STOP Have started filling a silo with red wine for you and won't STOP

Helen Bristol

08 September 2004 17:54

Oh hell is right STOP
 
Rescue team shopped STOP  Supplies spotted STOP  Lucy potted STOP  Beer slopped STOP
 
Try Plan B STOP  Send 3/4d we're going to a dance STOP 

Vile Jelly

09 September 2004 09:25

Helling, dear heart, Soupie here STOP
 
The RT Expeditionary Force set out yesterday evening but I have lost contact with them STOP Worse still I am down to my last lake of G&T STOP Will have to go out for more supplies (might as well look for the boys at the same time) STOP Just hope that I don't fall foul of the VJ beast as well STOP Better get on with the search STOP
 
If only I knew where to start STOP

Helen Bristol

09 September 2004 18:16

Oh dear, Soupie, you sound like a colleague at work [What? Down to her last lake of G&T?].
 
Lucy unpotted STOP  Invasion force of VJs spotted "somewhere in East Angular" STOP  Have to stop the blobs STOP  POST lookouts STOP  Send in the Stouts and Browns STOP  Bitter end for them STOP

Vile Jelly

10 September 2004 10:18

Helling, Soupie here again STOP
 
I have found the rest of the RT STOP I went out to look for them and popped into the Slurp (just to make enquiries of course) STOP And there they all were STOP Some of them in a fairly 'relaxed' condition (Orm was completely legless but I suppose one must make allowances in his case) STOP
 
N E Way, they said that they'd discovered that drinking beer seriously reduced fear of VJs STOP Well, I was about to let them feel the wrath of my rolling pin when they said they'd got half a dozen vats of G&T lined up for me STOP They're quite dear boys after all STOP I did ask them why they hadn't phoned to let me know but they said that they don't know how to use a phone STOP Which, I suppose, explains why the Sonics always have to go out to get the pizzas STOP
 
So, a good time was had by all STOP Of course, this means we'll have to keep going every day because the fear of VJs will return if we STOP

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