Vile Jelly

14 September 2004 16:26

Frankly, My Dears ...

OK. It's up to you.
Got the following from Windy:-
"deranged diatribes"
At last, a word or two of truth from you! - Shame
Bedlam is shut -
To be honest my (now delayed) reply would have been:-
You chose to shut it.
Adiable (presumably the french alternative to adieu).
However, in the interests of fairness,democracy and the fact that RT don't want to be burned at the stake if push comes to shove), the verdict shall be thine.
What shall be Winwaloe's fate?
PS. If your verdict is unmentionable, unprintable or physically improbable your identities (but not comments) shall be concealed - VJ
PPS. But not if you don't buy us a drink next time you're down! - RT

Helen Bristol

14 September 2004 18:03

So it's thumbs up/down time?
I've been on a Project Management - people aspects course today.  We could try project environment mapping to make a decision, that's enough to make anyone want to go to the security of a Mental Institution.
Ashley it isn't (shut). Its just got a more regally acceptable name. The viewing pit is still there, though little used these days.  Though whether, under Section whateveritis he would qualify to be detained there is another matter, they're quite fussy.
Told you so! He can't stay away. No, your version is better.
to finish your quote...........I don't give a damn. I will defend the RT with my dying breath, providing they stop threatening me.  We offered - but where were they?  Off down the Lifeboat while we were in the Slurp.
To expunge or not to expunge that is the question. Is this the sort of democracy Tone exercises?  I've-made-up-my-mind-but-I'll-ask-you-so-that-it-gives-the-impression-that-your-opinion-means-anything? Should we form a focus group?  Oh, my god, we ARE the focus group! Why waste time, electricity and your sanity on him? 
I-C-A-N-'-T H-O-L-D M-Y T-H-U-M-B U-P TRY ..AS..I M-I-G-H-T...............uh sorreeee
PS Windy has his've actually initiated an emu! There it wasn't so bad, was it?

Vile Jelly

16 September 2004 10:42

I was thinking more of red-hot pokers than thumbs actually ...
When did the RT ever threaten you? The only threat they pose to you is if they get to the pub before you and drink it dry!
How dare you accuse me of Blairitis. I axed you for an opinion to prove that I am not some petty dictator. And what do you do? Try to find a third way! I still haven't heard from Gill yet, though. She's probably busy consulting the Complete Oxford Dictionary of Expletives. In the meantime shall I put you down as a (non-violent) thumbs down, red-hot poker up?
PS. Oh yes? Care to name one? Ashley, I have let him dangling in the electric ether unanswered while I conduct this council of war with you and Gill.

Gill Richards

16 September 2004 13:56

so, Helen, you were right. He is so full of his own self importance that he couldn't resist coming back for a little peek.
If we were actually able to get our hands on him, the punishments could be many and terrible. Unfortunately we have to go for lesser penalties .
- Technically you could stop any of his mails from reaching you;
- you could set up a page on the website of all the mails between you with warnings on to anyone who may wish to go down the same lines (delusions of grandeur etc) although this would of course make him think he is important;
- a doctoring of the picture of him stuffing mackerel up his cassock could be funny to the rest of us
- we could all curse him, 'may your 4x4 get stuck in a gully and never come out' sort of thing ( or 'may your private parts shrivel and fall off')
- or you could apologise to your knife and throw it hoping it would get him (although you would no doubt prefer to throw BM's knife)
course the last one really refers to his physical self and so probably won't happen.
we have an institute up here called Barrow Gurney - good name for a mental hospital.....

Helen Bristol

16 September 2004 17:58

That's the trouble with this sort of situation.  Someone throws his toys out of the pram and says he doesn't want anything to do with us again ever, and we say OK STUFF IT.  And we all heave a sigh of relief that he's gone and we won't have to be bothered with him again..........and then procede to spend our time thinking about him and planning evil things for, you see, he's winning.  If you say good riddance you have to mean it. No more thinking about him, no more planning how to get your own back.  Evil-y things wither if they don't get the oxygen of publicity.
That's my last word on the subject. Do as you must. Frankly my dears.............

Vile Jelly

17 September 2004 09:52

Well, that's it, then. The jury has come back in, the votes have been counted, the die has been cast, the metaphors have been mixed.
And it's ..... thumbs down/red-hot pokers up.
To be honest, that was my initial reaction but I thought I'd run it by you as vaguely responsible members of humanity to make sure that I wasn't being excessively unreasonable. I could just see it; let the door open a crack, he'll get his foot wedged in and then, after an initial hunny-moan period, he'll be back to his obnoxious orations and I'll have to shrivel him up all over again. Either that or ignore him, which would make it look like I didn't have an argument to counter his right-wing rantings.
Anyway, as he never told the truth about who and where he was ..... fork him!
PS. I wonder if he'll tune into this week's update to find out what we've been saying about him.

Gill Richards

17 September 2004 09:58

may he never darken your door step again.
ps probably

Next    Back    Home    Site Map

I (thatís me) own the copyright in all the content of this site (except where otherwise acknowledged). You can read it, download it, transmit it and reproduce it only for your own personal use. You are not allowed to bugger about with it. If your computer explodes as a result of accessing this site and its contents, itís nothing to do with me, mate! Copyright Vile Jelly Publications 2001-2009. All rights (and some wrongs) reserved.