21 May 2004

Thought For The Week

V'adsyn shooyl er gooyl

[They were walking backwards]

Gone With The Winwaloe

Sorry, folks, but you've been let down by Winwaloe this week. As you will see from the new e-mails Winwaloe was appointed news reporter-in-chief following his numerous complaints about the output from the Reporting Team and the RT's departure to London to apply for the editor's job at the Daily Mirror.

Sadly, Winwaloe has proved to be less use than a chocolate fireguard and a damn sight worse than the RT, about whose efforts he was so contemptuous.

We await his explanation (and news report) with keen interest.

In the meantime, here is what the RT were able to write on the back of a fag packet while waiting for a train and posted to me.

The Tooth Really Hurts

Further grim revelations from the wild, wacky (and ever-diminishing) world of the Notional Health Service in Cornwall. 53% of people in West Cornwall are without an NHS dentist and that percentage is set to increase as an NHS practitioner in Penzance has now departed contributing another 900 to the NHS-less total.

According to St. Ives MP, Andrew George, the nearest practice prepared to take on new NHS patients is in Barnstaple, which the more geographically-aware of you will realise is not even in Cornwall and just a mere 120 miles away!

Girl Talk

The Soup Dragon returned from an evening's tupperware, Ann Summers and gin party with her gang of girly friends to regale us with this story told by one of the gals.

"She is strolling up Fore Street as is her wont on a Monday afternoon, when she spies that a surf shop has suddenly changed it's name to the G-SPOT. Concerned she rushes in past some punters to find she has rushed past the shop assistant outside having a fag break. Realising her error she rushes back out and concernedly asks the girl,' have you found it yet?' The young girl admits that she has not, to which Soupie's pal admits that she hasn't either and both agree it must be a myth, appropriate for a shop that sells gear for ladies, or rather mythes!"

Later I told this to the rest of the Reporting Team but they didn't get it either!

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